@Remedios wrote:
@JM761 wrote:You are the zen I needed (along with the others who responded)!
It's reassuring to gain perspective and know that it will be ok. I guess, after living in a state of "you think things are ok and they are very NOT ok", I'm worried that will happen again if I'm not careful. It feels like all the balls are in the air with our credit, upcoming house issues, doggo bills, etc. I just want to make sure I don't drop any. If I do, it's good to know we will figure a way out of this and it will be ok. I know that...just a bit anxious!
Your daughter sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders. I remember a time when I didn't worry about utilization - of course, that was when my credit was much better and I wasn't rebuilding and looking gettin ga HELOC in a few months. My goal is to return to that state of mind soon. You have been so helpful with all of these questions over the past few moths. I think I'm on the right track and can be there again soon...baby steps!
I know exactly what you're talking about
Long time ago, I had a bunch of late payments (I told this story too many times lol), not because I didn't have money, but because I would run out of checks, run out of stamps, and being very young and very stupid, I couldn't be bothered by anything.
Anyways, I didn't even know there was such a thing as credit score, I went to buy a car, I couldn't even get one at 28% . It was "cosigner or get out"
I was fortunate enough to be able to just pay for it, but humiliation stayed. I gave up on credit, I thought everything bad stayed forever.
Once I knew that wasn't so, I treated it gingerly like a newborn, everything about it was important to the point of it being life and death because that whole "not credit worthy" somehow stuck with me.
It passed, life goes on, lessons learned
It will pass for you too. You're in a different place now than 2019, so (forgive me this part) treat yourself with respect, not doubts. The fact you're facing issues and working on them is definitely respect worthy, not from others but from yourself.
In other words, 💩 happens. As long as lessons are learned, eventually 💩 becomes stories we tell on message boards.
Welcome to your new reality where Manny things are possible.
run out of stamps! This made me laugh, @Remedios ! Remember those days??
That was definitely one of my issues with my student loans. I didnt have a stamp. Then, Sallie Mae got smart and allowed online payment. The nerve! 
Similar to you, I didn't pay not b/c I didn't have the money. I was just irrationally annoyed I had to pay a student loan..I kept "forgetting" my password. So young and naive/stupid! Lessons learned (the hard way)!
Your sage wisdom is very much appreciated! I am very proud of how far I've come and I'm trying to push that to the forefront, instead of the shame/doubts. Your kind words help with that. This forum is so helpful and, even more importantly, non-judgemental. It's nice to know there are others that have been in my shoes. Seeing everyone's success stories give me hope. Again, thank you!
ps: speaking of stamps. A family member gave me a set of stamps as part of my Christmas gift this year. I can't think of the last time I sent something in the mail. Such an odd present - especially these days!