mayra,
I have a lot of insight to provide because I left my ex with a 3 yo and an 8 wk old four years ago. I had nowhere to go. THe only thing I owned was the baby's crib and some clothes. No furniture, not even a fork and plate for us to eat off of, let alone an apartment!!!
The first thing she should do is get a counselor. She can go to the local Health Department and start seeing a counselor. This will be key in documenting his history of threats/abuse/stealing to protect her children later. The counselor will let her know where the local Battered Women's Shelter is. Then she should file a restraining order immediately, mentioning his fraud as well. Even though the CCCs will tell her she can't prove anything, FILE THE POLICE REPORT FOR FRAUD ANYWAY!!! It will be another strike against him and help protect you later.
Make sure she has her bags packed when she files, because she wants to be GONE when he finds out about it. Restraining order filed, bags packed, go to the Battered Women's SHelter. Tell her, PLEASE don't be afraid to go. I put off leaving for over a month and a half because I didn't want to live in some dirty gym with a bunch of homeless women. MOST ARE NOT LIKE THAT!! WHen I finally left, it was actually a gorgeous house on a quiet street, with beautiful grounds, amenities... and other women just like me. They provided everything for me and my daughters. It was more like a vacation at a retreat than it was living in a "shelter" because we were homeless!! IT's VERY different than a homeless shelter. And, because they are so dedicated to anonymity, SHE WILL BE SAFE there, as long as she does NOT contact him.
Once she is safely at the Battered Women's Shelter, she will have counselors and guidance at every turn. They will help her navigate healthcare for her child, help her find work and even provide her with business/work clothes if she doesn't have any. They'll help her get a lawyer to work through the divorce, and give her endless help.
Have her go to www.freecycle.org and sign up for the local chapter. There, she will be able to get furnishings for her ENTIRE HOUSE, FREE. I furnished my whole apartment -- from fold-out couch, to small TV, to dishes, lamps, pots, pans, sheets... EVERYTHING. It is like craigslist, only everything MUST be free.
She CAN do this. I left when I was 22 and had a newborn. Four years later, it's like a bad dream. If you need or want more advice and guidance on how to leave, and resources, PLEASE email me. I can PM you my personal email addy.
