Eve here. Just got off my another site about debt. Sad story about a man who had a gambling problem and lots of debts he couldn't pay. Per his wife, she says that the collection agencies, riverboat gambling co., and their attorneys harrassed her husband so horribly that he commited suicide.
Please don't let your credit concerns bring you to this. Do what you can, take one step at a time, be prayerful and know when to let go. Your lives are so much more valuable even in the current credit state that you are in as opposed to you not being here. You sticking it out and working through your issues and telling your stories and keeping the repore going on this forum will most assuredly help you and someone else who may be at the point where this guy was three years ago.
Remember your value.
That's all. This really hurt me when I read it because I know how CA's and companies can be.
Thanks, Dog... This credit thing is so serious and so devastating to peoples lives. I think that many of us were never really taught the true value of having good credit, paying bills on time, because we really didn't know or our parents didn't teach us, or we knew and just didn't do any better.
To be totally honest, I've considered - more than once - ending it all to get out of this miserable existance. If my DH could still collect on my life insurance, I probably would've done it a while ago.
I'm currently working two jobs, and looking for a third. The guilt I feel is absolutely crushing. And everytime the phone rings, I run to answer it so that DH doesn't. He has no idea what's going on.
The really sad part is That I am totally alone with this. If my DH knew the extent of our debt, he would probably leave me, and I wouldn't blame him for a second. But I love the guy, and want him to stick around. So I work my a$$ into the ground hoping that eventually we'll be back to where we once were. The real kicker is if my (our) UTIL was reasonable, we would have sky-high FICOs.There's no GW, DV, PIF or PFD that can help. The only thing that makes a difference is paying money. I'm really tired. Somedays, the stomachache and guilt and worry are pretty overwhelming. Make no mistake. It's all my fault. Nobody else's. And I have to fix this.
I'm really glad to have happened on this forum. I appreciate everyone sharing their stories and stratagies.There's definitly a good vibe here.
" I like to live as a poor man, with a lot of money." - Pablo Picasso (who was a jerk.)
Don't beat yourself up over this because it is not helping you, now is it? This is not going to change your situation and trust me I know about keeping a debt secret. Can I share? In 2001, we were so badly in debt that creditors were calling us at work, at home, sending letters, you name it, they did it. DH didn't really know the extent of what was going on because he worked at night and that is when they called mostly. Called my job all day long, every other ring. So, I decided to get smart and take out a personal loan without telling him you know robbing Peter to pay Paul. Well, that didn't work, ended up having to file BK7 and didn't know how to tell him. Started affecting my health, knew he would leave me if he found out because he thought filing BK was a disgrace. SO, I wrote him a letter and I kissed him real good before he went into the room to read. I heard him ball the paper up and throw, he came out the room, looked at me with disgust and didn't speak to me for 5 days. That nearly destroyed me because we had a great marriage however not communicating with him about something so important as our credit put a wedge between us and he was going to leave. I prayed and I mean I prayed to God Almighty to save us and our marriage. Sunday that week we were going to church and I told him I couldn't do it anymore and I broke. Cried a ocean, forget a river, poured out my heart, confessed what happened and could he help me get this right would he support me? He hugged me, that was all the answer I needed. That was 7 years ago, still going strong and talking about everything, good or bad because that is what marriage is about. Trust that your husband will do the right thing and that he loves you more than your mistake because he will find out and killing yourself working all these jobs will eventually make him suspicious anyway. It will be the way you bring it to him that will make or break him. Be humble and transparent,no walls and no secrets. Keep striving YOUW
Thank you for sharing with us. No matter what don't give up fighting. You are one tough cookie. Your stregnth is admirable and your dedication to do what is right is commendable. Keep up the good fight and all your hard work will pay off. Your husband is very lucky to have a Woman who will take care of her responsibilities. You are truly an inspiration. Keep us posted on your progress.
Hey Montana - keep up the good fight, you will get there. I am sorry for the grief you are going through but it WILL get better. Stress is so bad for your health as you know, and it isn't worth it. Sounds like a lot of us have been there; take baby steps, one day at a time and worry about what you can control, not what you can't.
The really sad part is That I am totally alone with this. sharing their stories and stratagies.There's definitly a good vibe here.
Hey, hang in there - your not totally alone, please keep us posted... Keep counting those LITTLE victories and they will all eventually add up to the BIG one.... you'll make it - maybee not overnite, but we all know that, Right? Give me a shout if you ever want to talk.. Good Luck!