SO STRESSED!!!

[TULO30]

I need some advice. I am so stressed right now.  My fiancee and I earn a combined income of $175K.  HOWEVER!!  With my student loan, both our cars, miscellaneous loans AND credit card debt we are 100K in debt!  The majority of which my fiancee had prior to our engagement.

We have looked at it and have a 2 year plan to get it all payed off, but in the mean time we are planning a wedding that carries a budget of $25K (yes, a new loan we just acquired). So, while we are paying down our existing debt of $100K we will be acquiring new debt with the loan we just took out for the wedding.

My fiancee is a home owner.  We are both responsible people. I have a FICO score of 715 right now and I don't want to jeapordize it.  I am scared to death of making a stupid decision, but I don't see how we can get around the wedding...I am a basket case these days.

Am I freaking out for no reason?  What would you do?  Thanks for your help!!

[brownee]

Congrats on your upcoming marriage!  Have you considered a smaller wedding? Vegas? Anything that would decrease the cost. I honestly feel that if you're trying to get out of serious debt, the last thing you should do is to acquire new debt...especially debt that isn't neccessary. Of course you want, and deserve, the wedding that you've dreamed of, but at the same time you have to think of what that will do to your financial picture and if the cost of one days activities will outweigh the real cost. Just my .02, though.

Message Edited by brownee on 08-14-2008 08:55 AM

[Anonymous]

well said-

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brownee wrote:

Congrats on your upcoming marriage!  Have you considered a smaller wedding? Vegas? Anything that would decrease the cost. I honestly feel that if you're trying to get out of serious debt, the last thing you should do is to acquire new debt...especially debt that isn't neccessary. Of course you want, and deserve, the wedding that you've dreamed of, but at the same time you have to think of what that will do to your financial picture and if the cost of one days activities will outweigh the real cost. Just my .02, though.

Message Edited by brownee on 08-14-2008 08:55 AM

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[haulingthescoreup]

The best wedding gift that you can give one another is to lessen your burden of debt.

Do something simple and meaningful for now, and in five years (or whenever), do a ceremony of recommitment or whatever they're called. If you can afford it then, that's when you can have your big blowout.

Good luck, and congrats on your upcoming marriage.

[TULO30]

Brownee, thanks for your response.  We have considered smaller, but not small as in eloping.  I can not imagine a wedding without my friends and family around to show their support - that is something that is very important to me.  As it is, we will have about 70-90 guests...which isn't a big wedding.  You are right...I want and deserve a nice wedding but I have to think of what it will do to my financial picture....that is the million dollar dillemma!

[Anonymous]

I concur. A smaller wedding seems like a feasible way of helping our your debt situation in the short term.

But, I know sometimes people have their mind made up. Have you considered a DMP?

[Math_Rocks]

Like others, this is just my opinion. DH and I have been married almost 20 years now and I have a lot of hindsight. My wedding day was beautiful and important but it was just one day. I wish that we would have spent less and had some "cushion" starting our lives together. As it was, we were very quickly in debt and, I believe, it really started us off on the wrong foot.

Its a little preachy (and may not apply at all to you) but it scares me these days how many couples obsess about their weddings and spend little thought on preparing financially, emotionally and spiritually for what should be a lifetime commitment.

[TULO30]

Thanks for your response Math Rocks.  I don't think the amount of money we are spending on our wedding ($25K) is excessive. I think it is a reasonable amount, but I think it is unreasonable considering the amount of debt we already have...we will spend the next couple of years paying off all of our debt and the debt is what bothers me most. I prefer to live my life debt free. I brought a  total of $25K debt into this relationship and I was working to pay that off....now things seem out of control and unmanageable...but, as you say...wedding is a very important day and all I will have are memories from the day and I want them to be great memories.

[MidnightVoice]

$25K is a nice deposit on a new home 

Or a one half day celebration. 

Message Edited by MidnightVoice on 08-14-2008 11:55 AM

[Math_Rocks]

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@MidnightVoice wrote:

$25K is a nice deposit on a new home

Or

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That's what I was thinking!