MyFICO needs to start dropping the hammer quickly on these types of posters. I've come across more AI generated posts in the last couple of weeks than I ever could have imagined. It's pure drivel.
@FireMedic1 wrote:
@Latoria wrote:Nowadays, separate finance in a couple is a great idea. It allows everyone to be responsible for their credit score and make both expensive and cheap purchases without their spouse.
Say what? Were on to you and your posts and threads you've started @Latoria. Lets see how your own thoughts are. Not something thats generated.
Starting Score: 469
@privacyadvocate69 wrote:If a person I was interested in marrying said they wanted "separate finances", I would suggest that we go ahead and have separate lives too.
Marriage is supposed to be a team effort. If someone isn't willing to throw their money into the team pot, I don't see how that works. I know some people are happy with it, I just don't see how it works. I mean, if one person retires with $2M and the other retires with nothing, is the rich one going to go on vacations alone? If one gets hit with fat medical bills and drains their savings, is the other one good with saying, "Sucks to be you, but you're not getting any of MY money!" If one gets sick and has to stop working does the other one say, "Well, we can stay married but if you can't put money toward the bills you're going to have to move out" ?
When I got married, I was 34. Wife was 28. I was making about $80K/year and owned a house and a car. She was unemployed but did have $10K in cash (and no car or other assets). How would "separate finances" work there?
We never talked about money. I added her to my checking account to make it a joint account, she put her money in it and that was that. We got a joint credit card...it's the oldest card we have. Not many issuers will issue a joint credit card anymore.
Fast forward seven months...she got a job making about $35K/year. Fast forward another couple of years and she was making $75K. Fast forward a few more years, she is making $165K to my $120K. Somewhere in there, I was unemployed for a while when I was in between jobs and again when we relocated across the country. As it stands now, I will probably have to stop working much earlier than planned due to a disability. Really glad I didn't insist on "separate finances" 17 years ago!!
Obviously you are entitled to your own opinion, but if I may, I would like to add a separate perspective on this part 'If a person I was interested in marrying said they wanted "separate finances", I would suggest that we go ahead and have separate lives too.'
There are varying degrees of keeping separate finances and good reasons imo to do so. In my case our finances are separate on paper, meaning we keep separate accounts but that doesn't mean we don't share money.
My significant other isn't what I would consider the most financially responsible individual out there. She has had no credit for most of her life and didn't get her first credit card until she was about 35. In the last three years she has been debt free on three separate occasions lasting about a week or two at most. Her debt levels on her cards generally bounce between 5%-50% of her annual income and when on the higher side a significant percentage of my annual income (about 33%)
And I don't mean, oh we need to get a car loan (I generally handle these on my credit alone) or we need to make a big purchase etcetera....
When it comes to financial responsibility we come from two very different schools of thought. My school is: Credit cards should be treated essentially as debit cards, if you don't have the money (in general) than you shouldn't spend it. Planned purchases and emergencies are different so long as you have a realistic plan to pay them off as quickly as possible.
Her school of thought is: If I don't have the money now put it on a credit card and make at least minimum payments.
In addition to this, the only savings we have is what I put away, and while I do provide her with financial guidance, she doesn't always follow it. Often she makes decisions to the contrary.
All of that being said, I don't simply cast her out on her own financially. I am there to make sure she is taken care of, and continue to provide her with advice, and balance lesson learning with ensuring she doesn't face long term impacts on her credit reports.
I certainly won't argue that our financial differences don't cause friction from time to time. But I definitely don't regret my decision to incist we keep our finances separate on paper.
While I don't pay off the majority of her debt, I do ensure she keeps out of trouble and until she learns to manage her credit better, I would be financially foolish to put my name on her accounts placing my credit score at risk.
You could argue that this is a sign I don't trust her, in truth I don't trust her financial management abilities. As evidence I would argue that she always has in her possession one of my credit cards with nearly a 10k limit on her possession to handle our joint responsibilities and for true emergency situations, and as it is my card and my credit she has responsibly used this card for these purposes only.
@Gladius wrote:How is she able to use "your" CC when it has your name on it and not an actual joint card? Is she an AU with her name on it?
My wife does it all of the time, like dozens of times per month, and she isn't an AU on any of my cards.
@Gladius wrote:
How is she able to use "your" CC when it has your name on it and not an actual joint card? Is she an AU with her name on it?
No, But she has pin for cash advance (emergencies only) and for use on joint responsibilities:
1.) They know both of us, small town.
2.) Self checkouts don't check id.
3.) Either does virtually anyone else (check ID).
My gf and I have a joint account (but only in my name) for the mortage and utilities. Recently she questioned why i didnt have money and where is it all going and i got mad. I couldnt figure out if i was being egotistical or not. i pay all of our bills on time and as far as my personal accounts go, i dont really buy things except for food. i make $40,000 less than she does (gross) so we split the bills 60/40. Right now is the most debt I've ever had and most of whats left over after the bills are paid goes to our renovations.
When we get married i hope that one joint account and separate personal accounts stays unchanged.
