What is your tipping policy?

[Anonymous]

I am sure it would be quite startling!

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@haulingthescoreup wrote:

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@Anonymous wrote:

....  The other thing that gets me is that the phrase "would you like anything else?" or "can I get you anything else" has been shorted to "What else?" in so many establishments (mostly quick serve such as bagels stores, etc.) and having grown up here, but been gone for so many years, I was flabbergasted the first time someone said that to me... "What else?"  --- that is just SO rude!

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Imagine the trials of a Southerner, visiting on Long Island.

Even though I know they're just speaking in shorthand, it's pretty startling. But when in Rome, and all that.

[Anonymous]

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@Anonymous wrote:

Believe it or not, current or previous servers are probably more critical of service delays, or poor service in restaurants than those who have never worked in food service.

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Definitely! But also able to separate problems with the service from other problems... I mean, if you're a server/former server, I think you're less likely to think 'this soup sucks - no tip for you!' than someone who hasn't done that job. I might go somewhere and think the restaurant in general is somewhere I wouldn't want to go to again... but I'd never take it out on the server when it comes to leaving them a tip. I used to hate when I just knew I was going to be the one getting punished for something entirely NOT my fault (y'know, they wanted something that they 'always' had, which hadn't been on the menu for about 3 years... chef not willing/able to make it especially for them? Blame the server! - that kind of thing).

I make it sound like I was forever getting awful tips - not the case, the vast majority of people were great, and some were just amazingly generous... but it's always the rare ones that aren't that end up ruining your entire shift! I think I was a pretty decent server so when I got the occasional appalling tipper, I did try not to take it personally - unless there was something obvious I could put it down to (whether or not that 'something obvious' was anything within my control or not), I'd just have to think 'that must just be what they're like'.

*edited to fix nonsense typo!*

Message Edited by fevmlo on 09-21-2008 08:11 PM

[Anonymous]

I could not agree more.

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@Anonymous wrote:

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@Anonymous wrote:

Believe it or not, current or previous servers are probably more critical of service delays, or poor service in restaurants than those who have never worked in food service.

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Definitely! But also able to separate problems with the service from other problems... I mean, if you're a server/former server, I think you're less likely to think 'this soup sucks - no tip for you!' than someone who hasn't done that job. I might go somewhere and think the restaurant in general is somewhere I wouldn't want to go to again... but I'd never take it out on the server when it comes to leaving them a tip. I used to hate when I just knew I was going to be the one getting punished for something entirely NOT my fault (y'know, they wanted something that they 'always' had, which hadn't been on the menu for about 3 years... chef not willing/able to make it especially for them? Blame the server! - that kind of thing).

I make it sound like I was forever getting awful tips - not the case, the vast majority of people were great, and some were just great... but it's always the rare ones that aren't that end up ruining your entire shift! I think I was a pretty decent server so when I got the occasional appalling tipper, I did try not to take it personally - unless there was something obvious I could put it down to (whether or not that 'something obvious' was anything within my control or not), I'd just have to think 'that must just be what they're like'.

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[Anonymous]

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@Anonymous wrote:

There is absolutely no reason for that. Just don't leave a tip at all. Leaving a few pennies on the table is insulting and theres no other intent behind doing so.

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I've left a pointedly tiny (one penny) tip precisely once in my life, and that was in order to make a point. Leaving nothing would just have them thinking you're some tightwad that doesn't tip. Deliberately leaving a penny... yeah. It was in an italian/pizza restaurant in my hometown in the UK (very yummy but overpriced 'gourmet' pizzas, a nice place to eat at rather than yer typical pizza place), years & years ago with my boyfriend of the time. The place was virtually empty but we had the most inattentive service imaginable - all the servers hanging out at the bar gossipping, impossible to catch their attention (it's one thing when they're run off their feet, another entirely when they're just ignoring you and not bothering to check on your table even once in 30 minutes, leaving you with empty glasses forever, blah blah blah) - annoying at the best of times, even more so when they've forgotten half your order and rushed off to gossip without at any point checking that everything's ok, etc etc etc - y'know, pretty much a textbook case of 'service from hell'. Not leaving a tip just wasn't quite enough to get the message across - I felt evil, but I'm fairly sure that one penny would have made the point!

Glad to say I never had that done to me (I would never ever have deserved that - worst I ever did was leave someone's glass un-refilled for a couple of minutes due to the genius hostess giving me 5 tables simultaneously, that kind of thing!), but those occasional people who evidently 'don't believe in tipping' or whatever... ARGH!

Speaking of which I have a friend who is otherwise a perfectly nice guy, but who I outright refuse to eat out with. He 'doesn't believe in tipping', so he doesn't do it. At all. He's adamant that restaurant owners should pay their staff properly, that it's not his job to do so, blah blah blah - yeah, nice thought but that's not how it works, until then maybe he should try cooking for himself every night instead! I would be utterly mortified to be sat at the same table as, and served by the same unsuspecting waiter/waitress as him, so pointblank refuse to do so!

[MattH]

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@Anonymous wrote:

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@atlastontheroad wrote:

Long Island is undoubtedly the land of poor service. As a former waitress and bartender, I expect good service and tip very well for it. Unfortunately, here, I find that "service" is almost an unknown. It seems that the majority of "servers" are children of privelege who feel it beneath them to wait on others.

However, when I'm in the city, service is generally fabulous and I am glad to tip.

atlast....minimum 15%, good-to-excellent 20% +, toss an attitude at me and find your tip cut in half

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Too funny, I am also on Long Island and know exactly the attitude you are talking about. It's soooo true! The other thing that gets me is that the phrase "would you like anything else?" or "can I get you anything else" has been shorted to "What else?" in so many establishments (mostly quick serve such as bagels stores, etc.) and having grown up here, but been gone for so many years, I was flabbergasted the first time someone said that to me... "What else?" --- that is just SO rude!

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Here in Connecticut some sandwich-makers have it down to one syllable: "And?"

[Anonymous]

where i am, tax is a little over 8% to I double that and add a little for good measure. I don't know what that works out to be.

Having said that, I have left no tip at all. Not very often (i think maybe 3 or 4 times) but i have. One experience stands out to me. My SO and I were out to dinner and the waiter, although nice was a complete sexist jerk. He would not even look at me, he looked at my SO the whole time even when he wanted to know what i wanted to order he still looked to my SO for the answer. I had a question about our order and could not get his attention, my SO had to get it for me and when he came over guess who he deferred to! I was steaming mad! It just so happened to be by turn to pay for dinner (of course when the check came he handed the check to my SO as asked if he needed anything else!) so obviously he got nothing for a tip. I don't feel bad about it at all!

[haulingthescoreup]

It's always fun for me at the end of a meal, when the server comes by to ask if we want dessert, to pull out my card and ask for the check. Sometimes you can see the wheels turning in their heads, as they try to think if they covered all their bases.

[Scamp]

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dizzier wrote:
where i am, tax is a little over 8% to I double that and add a little for good measure. I don't know what that works out to be.

Having said that, I have left no tip at all. Not very often (i think maybe 3 or 4 times) but i have.

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Best way to get the message across is to leave that 2- or 3- or 5-cent tip, in such a situation.

I know Up says that's just insulting (and it IS), but I feel it's appropriate in a situation where the service itself has been insulting to me as a customer (rare - it has to be REALLY bad and coupled with an equally bad attitude for me to leave that kind of tip.  As a former server, I know which things are within a server's control and which are not, and I never take out on a server things that go wrong that are not in his/her control). 

Leaving no tip at all leaves the door open for the server just thinking you forgot, or that perhaps you left a cash tip and somebody swiped it.

[demi]

Interesting theory on Long Island...when my cousins use to come from Conneticut to visit, they would always comment how nice all the waiters/waiteress were, and how different it was (California)...wonder how much of it might be from that.  I usually tip in the 20% range, unless bad, then 15%.  However, recently I was somewhere and it was downright horrible asked for the manager, twice, saw him talking to customers, would not come over.  I think we left about a 5% tip...was a very upscale restaurant in Big Sur...who lost a faithful following of six woman.

[Anonymous]

Fair enough. If the service was equally insulting, I suppose it would warrant a 3 cent tip. I guess I have never experienced anything that bad. Horrible food, oh YES, hmmm....biting into a completely raw piece of chicken comes to mind...(and I'm already squeemish --- is that a real word?  If so, I butchered it, sorry --- about raw meats, veins, fat and anything else gross in there). I have also been horribly neglected and forgotten about, but never insulted by the service. If that's the case, then I guess the gloves are off!

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Scamp wrote:

Best way to get the message across is to leave that 2- or 3- or 5-cent tip, in such a situation.

I know Up says that's just insulting (and it IS), but I feel it's appropriate in a situation where the service itself has been insulting to me as a customer (rare - it has to be REALLY bad and coupled with an equally bad attitude for me to leave that kind of tip.  As a former server, I know which things are within a server's control and which are not, and I never take out on a server things that go wrong that are not in his/her control). 

Leaving no tip at all leaves the door open for the server just thinking you forgot, or that perhaps you left a cash tip and somebody swiped it.

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Message Edited by Scamp on 12-12-2008 07:22 PM