Private loans have some very scary remedies. The CA is not making idle threats--they can proceed directly to your bank accounts without having to get a judgment. They will also go after the co-signer if you have one. It is important that you deal with this as quickly as possible.
The market for private loan consolidators has dried up--very few, if any, still exist. And once you're in default, you can't consolidate anyway.
My experience--at your stage--was that they eventually agreed to negotiate a monthly payment. I'm in my third year of payments. My CA negotiates for a year at a time, so every year, I hope and pray that this isn't the year that they decide they are tired of waiting and sue.
Hang in there. You're in a tough spot, and my sense is that it's a little less predictable these days . . .
