It really is creepy. I could get past that if they would actually let me open an account. The crazy thing is that I've never had a joint account or co-signed with anyone for anything. I'll try contacting the CRA's to see what they suggest, but I'm guessing it's a hopeless situation.
If you want to be very creeped out pull your Lexis Nexis Full File Disclosure reports. I believe this is where the CRAs (and MANY others) get much of their info on you.
The Lexis / Nexus report is the source of the associated persons. I pulled mine once a few years ago and they had addresses going back 20 years as well as the "current resident" at that address. There were several names in the section about associated persons who I had no idea who they were. But there is also not an easy way to dispute or clear information from that report. They are simply aggregating information from various databases and do not respond to consumer disputes.