@FicoMike0 wrote:
The ex on the mortgage is a wild card. Is there much equity? Does she want the house?
I'd guess that there's no equity given that OP says he's 21 years old. The mortgage couldn't be more than 1-2 years old tops and with a 30 year fixed at the rates they were at last year, you wouldn't have any equity for a long, long time. Probably until he was close to 30 years old himself, if he finds a way to pay for this.
If he can't quickly figure out a way to pay for just the mortgage and get her to quitclaim deed the house over to him (because who wants to own a house in 30 years when you're 50 with an ex from when you were 20 who may or may not even be alive by then) then I'd probably consult a bankruptcy attorney and see if I could go into Chapter 7 and strip everything, but not just yet.
If OP could handle the mortgage without the credit card debt in play, I would get into contact with the ex and go "Here's how this works. If you can quit claim this, then maybe, just maybe I can continue paying it after I file bankruptcy. If you don't, I'll eventually file bankruptcy, then the house will be discharged on my end, but not on yours, and you'll be responsible for this house loan at this point."
This will create a "Take my deal, or I leave you with them." ultimatum, but don't present it as a threat, merely a statement of the facts.
"I’m trying to work out a solution that benefits both of us. If you’re willing to quitclaim the house, I can potentially keep up with the mortgage payments after filing for bankruptcy. If not, the mortgage might end up being your responsibility alone once I file for bankruptcy, since my liability would be discharged."
The credit cards probably won't start charging off for 6 months after he stops paying them. The banks almost never start foreclosure for a while. I'd consult, then stop paying, then only file bankruptcy when someone actually took action. Eventually something will give but until then there's no reason to play hardball with them. That would freeze everything in place while the courts sorted out the mess, and probably buy him some more time in that house before it had to go back. If he's lucky he might be living in that house another year or two depending on what the docket looks like in the local foreclosure court and not paying them anything to live there.
Some free months with a place to live while he figure out how he's going to go back to renting is probably the "best" outcome from where this is now unless he can strip the credit card debt, save the mortgage, and get a quit claim deed. This is a real mess.
This is why people need to get married and accumulate wealth before signing a mortgage. Sure, there's some banker out there who will give one to an unmarried couple and stretch their budget with it, but being legal to do that doesn't mean it's a financially wise decision to sign on it.
Divorce raises the bar to break up with someone because of "the new shiny" and since there was never a marriage in place, a divorce judge cannot order her to do something to help you wind down the mortgage.
Had this been a marriage with a divorce decree and the judge ordered her to help wind this down, you could file a contempt motion if she didn't.
