To file or not

[Anonymous]

Hello, I am a new member and have been reading all over the forum for advice and information. I have recently left my husband, and although we are still married, I do not want to have to include him in filing. The mortgage is in his name, but was aquired after marriage so I am not sure if I have to include that. I have no interest in the home as I cannot afford it on my own anyway. My vehicle is in both of our names, but I want to keep it. What im concerned about are my personal loan, credit card debt and medical debt that I will be unable to afford since I will be going from sharing housing costs (mortgage, insurance, gas & electric, etc.) to paying for everything on my own. He makes more than me, so he always paid the bulk of the bills each month and I was only responsible for my own debt and smaller bills. Do I wait to file until I have my own place and everything starts to fall apart, or do I get a jump on it now? Currently the only bills in my name are gas and electric, car insurance, my vehicle and my personal debt. The cable, cell phone, internet, and mortgage are all in his name and we pay everything out of our joint account each month. I have done the math, even if I dont have any extras like cable or internet, just housing, utilities and my vehicle are going to take most of my monthly income. Our savings was wiped last year when I lost my job due to covid, so I have no extra money at all. I stayed with him longer than I wanted due to the financial stability, and staying with my parents for an extended time in order to save some money is not an option. I don't know what to do and I am sick over it all. All I keep hearing from my family is that I should have never let myself get into this position, that you should never rely on another person for financial stability. Lesson learned, it's not like I got married with the expectation of getting divorced 10 years later. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

[Horseshoez]

Sorry about your situation; my wife and I separated after 19 years of marriage, this being brought on by our financial collapse; so I feel your pain (we have since reconciled and are back together).

Regarding your situation, are you employed?  If not, then the general consensus is to delay filing until you are employed and are able to meet your monthly needs after your debt is cleared.  If you file too soon, it could come back to bite you in the hind parts because any debt you obtain after your discharge will not be dischargeable via a second bankruptcy for another 8 years or so.

[CosmicCash]

Condolences on your situation.  Try not to beat yourself up too much as difficult as it may be, we've all been there, done that and there is hope waiting at the end of all this.     

It sounds like you have a lot to unravel at this moment.  Looking at your situation from afar, I would give some time to see how things play out before filing.  However I definitely wouldn't be waiting around for things to happen.  Things in your world have already fallen apart, the other shoe simply hasn't dropped yet. (Like I said before, been there done that.)  Good news is there are things you can do now to mitigate the damage.     

First and foremost employment along with making sure you have a place to live.  Your creditors can wait if needs be, they won't be the ones without housing if you can't pay.  I would also be on the phone today trying to find a family law attorney, hopefully one that also deals with bankruptcy.  A good attorney will be able to minimize the damage and maybe even get you some alimony through the divorce if that's the road you want to go down.  Most importantly, the attorney can give you tailored advice as to your current situation.

Sending positive waves your way hoping things turn out for the best.