OT - I Fell off the wagon :(

[gettingsmarter]

I know how you feel.  When I get stressed, I shop and I think a lot of people on here have absolutely been in the same place.

Also, it's kind of like a diet... you restrict yourself day after day for months on end without allowing yourself a "free day" and then the next thing you know you're eating dinner at KFC and slowly but surely breaking more "rules" as the days go by.

Get back up, dust yourself off and learn from the situation - but do budget for special "treats"... maybe once or twice per month, allow youself a guilty pleasure.  Spend sensibly and shop wisely and within budget so you don't go and make up for lost time with another $800 shopping spree!

Good Luck!

[Kiwill]

I appreciate ALL the responses; good, bad or indifferent.  You are all right and it must stop now because it could easily snowball out of control.  I really love how gettingsmarter put it in perspective and I agree 100%, that is exactly what happened, I denied myself for soo long, not even buying a pair of socks and when I decided to splurge it I just got carried away.  All my old "summer" clothes consists of T-shirts with some advertisement on it, I had no shorts, no summer dresses...really nothing.  It never mattered before because I would come home from work and hang out with the family.  Some people allow money for clothes each month but my family don't, I may shop for  myself twice a year, maybe more if something comes up and I need to buy something more specific.  I must say that I did shop the clearance rack and used coupons at NY&Co., (clothes & jewelry), I shopped Marshalls for clothes and shoes, i even bought a couple pair from payless, so no I didn't buy expensive name brand clothes.  The problem with me is that I tend to go months and its not uncommon for a year or two to pass me up without shopping for clothes or shoes, my son even wonders why I don't buy clothes and shoes like most women, it's soo bad, my kids and husband bought me clothes for Christmas.  I just felt it was time for me to take on a more sexy and feminine me and not to get off the subject, my husband loves my new clothes and heels.  Also, someone mentioned my $12,000 debt, we remolded our family, dining and living rooms last year so more than 75% of that balance is is furniture and window treatments and accessories. 

You all put it soo brutally honest and I don't feel bad at all about any of the comments [just what I needed], I will definetely do things a lot differently in the future because in the end, my fico score is more important than the instant gratification of shopping, which is why I became a member of this site in the first place.  I was a payless today to get my daughter a pair of shoes for her show tomorrow and even though the cashier tried tirelessly to talk me into taking advantage of the buy 1, get 1 1/2 off sale, I just said no about four times and left the store.     

[Anonymous]

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Kiwill wrote:  I just felt it was time for me to take on a more sexy and feminine me and not to get off the subject, my husband loves my new clothes and heels.  Also, someone mentioned my $12,000 debt, we remolded our family, dining and living rooms last year so more than 75% of that balance is is furniture and window treatments and accessories. 

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That would be me. 

My thinking was, and is, If there's $12,000 in debt there's not room for an $800 spree.  Doesn't matter what the balance on the accounts is for or what the spree is for. 

I really admire your great efforts to pay down your debt and wish you the very very best.  It's hard work and the feeling of accomplishment couples get when working toward financial goals together is sexier than anything I've ever seen in a store.  When you hit a financial milestone, break out the bubbly and celebrate.  Whoopee!

[LADYBUSA]

There is nothing wrong with any decision you make. it is yours to make, along with your husband. It is always gonna be an opinion around. Even if it is your own. Take care of your family and your home. You are also a a major part of that family word. You have to take care of yourself to be able to take care of everyone else. You have the right to change your family around to whatever works for your family. But remember you are apart of that. If you feel guily for $100 for yourself,  then do something smaller. You will feel pretty, it will make your husband happy like you said (which in turn makes you happy), your kids will see you happy like they did during the bender(which again makes you happy that they are) - plus you are sticking to your budget which helps in the long run to attain your prize possesion that you don't have yet - awesome credit.  

[blacklotus]

When I feel I'm using too much credit I switch to my debit card and that works for me- might not work for you.  Just my input.  You are doing so good right now anyway don't think some careful controlled shopping would hurt too much... IMHO

[Kiwill]

Thanks for all the replies and "blackouts", that really did make me feel better, lol!  I guess people just look at it differently and I for one couldn't imagine spending $100 a month on clothes but that is just an individual choice.  I typically buy my 7yr. old clothes at the start of each season perhaps skipping Spring because it's either cold or hot here in Chicago during the Spring months.  Anyway, I had taken time to really think about it and I don't feel as bad as I did before posting this because I really did NEED the clothes and shoes,  yes I could have waited and not spent soo much at one time but I know my family doesn't spend nearly as much on clothes and shoes per year as a lot of people do based on what i've read here. 

Again, Thank You for all the Honest and straight forward responses and i really appreciate and respect each one.  This Forum is great!!!

[Anonymous]

That would be me again.  (We must have some karma going back and forth .  Since you may be referring to a comment I made, I have to point out that our $100 per month is for a family, not per person.  But I’m very happy to know that there may be many lovely people who have much much healthier budgets than ours – ours is tight.

Looking at one of your previous posts, I think that you’ll do great, Kiwill!  

http://ficoforums.myfico.com/t5/Rebuilding-Your-Credit/High-CC-utilization-and-which-do-I-tackle-NOW...

MVV made a comment to you in that thread that’s very fitting:  “Goals are good to have but don't be so locked into achieving them that it rules and/or ruins your life. Credit repair and rebuilding is a roller coaster ride and sometimes we don't move forward as fast as we'd hope………Keep focused and you'll get to where you want to be. It might take longer than you thought it would but that is part of life.”

And on that same thread, you shared that “I have about $1200-1500 a month to pay my bills which does include my $570 car note which leaves me about $800-900 a month for my cc debt.” 

Which means you can knock down that new shopping spree debt quickly and then continue on with your goals again.  Best of luck to you!  Keep us posted on your hard work!

[Jazzzy]

I don't always have the best discipline...so, one of my tactics is geography.

I don't put myself in a place where I can go off the wagon. While you didn't think shopping with the girls was going to set off this spree, it did. Maybe next time you will bow out.

Example from my life: I went to an auction a week ago because they had a "life-sized cardboard Snow White." Well, what self-respecting grandmother doesn't need a life-sized Snow White? Right? (I learned that auctioneers don't know their Disney princesses very well...it was actually Cinderella.) It was one of the last things sold. I got it for $2, and it sits proudly in my extra bedroom. My granddaughters will be here tomorrow night, and I will get wonderful grandmother fulfillment from my $2 purchase.

The problem? I ended up spending $99 at the auction. I have boxes of crap (glassware, collectibles, etc.) that I apparently couldn't live without at the time. And...after all...it was going so cheap. (Isn't that a line that costs many of us a lot of money?)

So...fast forward a week. My sister called me and asked if I wanted to go to another auction yesterday. Lots of antiques and collectibles. I really, really wanted to go. I love auctions (and I do truly love the odd things I can buy at them). I have a house full. But, I told her no. My husband was surprised, and I told him that I was afraid of what I might spend, and that I didn't want to get in the auction habit again. I knew me...and I knew I needed to stay away.

This is also the reason I don't eat at buffet places...it's easier for me to stay away than it is to go and then have to discipline myself. It's also why we don't keep potato chips or cookies in the house. No discipline. Call me a coward.

Geography. It works for me.

[LADYBUSA]

I try to budget for mostly everything now. Maybe a little OCD, but it works for me. The key for me is I have multiple accounts. The money that is for household repairs and clothing ARE IN THEIR OWN INDIVIDUAL ACCOUNTS.I know there will be months that I might not use what I have budgeted. I transfer via online the money into a savings account with a atm card in a CU so they make me money if it sits there. I never "see it"  until I want it, and if I ever need it for emergencies over what I can control. I can get to it by transfering it over to my main account or go to the atm.  Most online banking institutions let you rename your accounts so I can see everything by simply logging on. Plus they are attached to my main account for overdraft protection. That's my way to get me back to where I need to be. A little more organized than most, but I fully admit I am OCD but it works for me.

[Anonymous]

Kiwill,

You’ve gotten a lot of great advice, still, I have to throw in my 2 cents.  I’d throw in more, but 2 cents is all I can afford!

First of all, stop.  You’ve gotten your summer clothing refresh, now you have to stop.

People here talk about sock drawering credit cards.  Also, the classic advice is to freeze them in water so that you have to thaw them to use them.

But part of the problem is that you have to have clothes.  Given your numbers, you can budget a small amount on clothes without throwing everything out of whack.

For the future, one thing you might try is to buy several items, then evaluate them at home in the cold light of day, and return what you decide you don’t want to pay for.

Me, one of my downfalls is outdoor gear for my son and I.  I like having good equipment, but oh it costs!  I spent a lot last year, so as I geared us up for summer, I spent the very least I could consistent with what we’ll be doing.  But I bought multiple items, then took them home and pondered them carefully at home, kept the essentials, kept a few splurge items, took the rest back.  Then I scheduled how to PIF those purchases within the month, by delaying or foregoing other items.

Also, you might look around and see if you have anything you don’t care about that you can sell on Ebay.  I know of a shop in a town near me that has an Ebay guy.  I give him my stuff, he sells it, takes a cut, and gives me money.  Very easy for me, turns junk (“stuff”) into money, and I’m not tempted to shop on Ebay.  Then you’ll get rid of some stuff, and generate some cash to pay down that debt.

Also, if you find you give away clothes, consider deducting them on your taxes.  It’s  surprising how much pocket change you can save with clothes that you’re going to give away anyway.

Best of luck!