A Lesson in Managing Your Money

[Anonymous]

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ByrdMan wrote:
Every child has a brand new cell phone (sidekick, blackberry curves). The oldest is 16, youngest is 10. What in the world do all of them need with a cell?

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People like that worry me, mostly because I was a spoiled kid for a while. Then I wasn't But it's been my experience that most people who never had to work very hard for anything don't turn into very nice adults. I don't think I would have liked myself very much if I had continued that way.

By the time I was in college I would get very irritated at the kids who expected new cars or other expensive things from their parents, when I was waiting tables to pay the rent. (okay, and running up my credit cards, but that's a different post!)

[granny031350]

 I used to be one of those ex's (not 1 but a combination)  My kids got it all, cars, clothes, phones and college educations.  I stopped child support (he wasn't employed so why have it?) and we had an agreement that when the important stuff came up, he would "pay half"  course he never could but he paid what he could and he spent a lot of time with the kids. I had an understanding husband and that helped.  But I had also a good job and made really good money.   What I did wrong was never telling my kids no and I paid dearly for it (bk filing and depression for a couple of years, second divorce) but since 2005 it has all been a lot better.  And with grown kids it is easier to say no.  LOL  I have a son who is a mechanical engineer with the govt, a daughter who is a parole office with the state, and another daughter who makes really good money as a bartender.  And everyone of them is working hard at not ending up like their mom.  (ie more prudent with money)  So imo it all works out in the end

[Junejer]

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@Anonymous wrote:

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@Junejer wrote:
Every child has a brand new cell phone (sidekick, blackberry curves). The oldest is 16, youngest is 10. What in the world do all of them need with a cell?

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People like that worry me, mostly because I was a spoiled kid for a while. Then I wasn't But it's been my experience that most people who never had to work very hard for anything don't turn into very nice adults. I don't think I would have liked myself very much if I had continued that way.

By the time I was in college I would get very irritated at the kids who expected new cars or other expensive things from their parents, when I was waiting tables to pay the rent. (okay, and running up my credit cards, but that's a different post!)

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Trust me, they get the balance. I provide a nice home and nice things in the home, but as for the crazy amenities--n'uh-uh. DD #1 and DS #1 (16 & 14) are going to have jobs this summer (DS wants to pick up a second one at the roller rink). I say go for it. There ain't no free ride around here (I know Shnapple, double negative and ain't ain't a word). I don't buy that kind of stuff, b/c I don't think that it's necessary.

My children had the option of going on to my phone plan (only the older two), but they opted for their mom's plan, b/c I wasn't going to shell out for a sidekick or a blackberry curve. Knock yourself out lady.

[Anonymous]

Agreed, Byrd. When we decided we would continue the CS amount past DD's 20th birthday so we could pay for her college (and she wouldn't  have to go get SL's like THE REST OF THE WORLD does) she freaked out.

Sent DH like 5 really nasty text messages (who texts their Dad in an argument anyway??) telling him she wanted a Dad and not a banker.. she was mad because we intend to pay for things directly, like pay her tuition, pay her car insurance, etc... instead of just throwing money into her bank account for her to blow willy-nilly. SHYAH!!! And monkeys might fly...

After a few weeks she calmed down, and he read her the riot act.. most kids don't get any help for college, he's not going to throw money at her so she can forget to pay tuition or default on car ins or something dumb, because the clubs are more important... be grateful or get away from me, basically.

Now, she's come around. She's getting ready to move away from home and it will get a lot better once she's away from the free-spending Momma. This is the type of mother she is... DD is living at home w/ Mom while she goes to local college. Mom does NOT use the CS to pay for DD's college - DD has to work 30 hrs a week and stress about making enough to cover tuition and books. But Mom DOES pay for the fun stuff - a cell phone, nice car, a clothing stipend each month... so Mom basically keeps her tethered because what 20-yo would want to move away from home and lose their clothing stipend & cell phone??? It's really twisted. Mom's priorities are looking good, so she leaves the immature 20-yo to fend for herself when it comes to paying for and finishing college. Nice.

[MattH]

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@Anonymous wrote:

The simplest rules are the hardest.

SPEND EARN.

Very simple rule. If you spend less than you earn you will be fine. If you don't you will fail. It doesn't matter if you make $10K a year or $10 million.

Credit isn't bad it is a tool.

How many of us would own a car if we needed to save $20-$30K before buying one?

What % of America would be a homeowner if you needed to save up $200-$300K before buying a home?

If you use no credit it is impossible to spend money you don't have. Credit allows people to SPEND > EARN. Credit isn't the problem it is the inabiliy to accept that we must all SPEND EARN.

Actually to be financially independent you must SPEND (EARN - INVEST). 20% if good % to start with. If you make $50K a year and spend $40K a year you will be very happy.

It is so simple yet so hard.

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Where I think a lot of people get in trouble is failing to leave enough extra room in the budget for the inevitable surprises. Cars, major appliances, furnaces, plumbing, and so forth all have the habit of occasionally needing sudden infusions of money. I don't know what sudden repairs will be needed over the next two years, but I fully expect there will be some and therefore we must be prepared.

Since MOST months don't have surprise major expenses, if you don't have something extra in months without surprises, then you are living close to the edge. Add up your major unplanned expenses over the last two years, divide by 24, then add another 10% just to be safe, and figure that into your budget.

[haulingthescoreup]

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@Junejer wrote:

My children had the option of going on to my phone plan (only the older two), but they opted for their mom's plan, b/c I wasn't going to shell out for a sidekick or a blackberry curve. Knock yourself out lady.

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If their heads are even slightly turned by the fancy toys, it will end the day they can't use their phones because their mom didn't pay the cell bill.

[Anonymous]

My parents allowed me to negotiate for things when my jobs in high school could not cover them.  I would have to prove that I could repay the loan or make the payment.  Things would have been much different if it was all given to me, but I ended up as a finance manager anyway so dealing with money is what I do every day now!