Could it be conditioned behavior?

[Anonymous]

I want to start this for the children of our members...

My Mom was super picky, efficient, and probably obsessed with paying bills on time.  This she 'taught' me.

She taught me to only spend what I could afford and to SAVE money (she grew up during the Depression).

I see more and more of her in me as I age.  I think I have taught my kids the same values (with a bit of DH's just buy it thrown in) - but I do see them all keeping to the straight and narrow about finances even if they are in debt up to their necks they are paying their bills.

I guess what I'm saying is YOUR behavior will be emulated by your children.

[Anonymous]

I agree 100% LADY. I learned from my Mom and Grandmother. never buy a home that you can not afford.....Pay all house bills first & on time ( food is at the end of the line as you can always eat soup)

Before using a CC, be sure that you have the money in the bank to pay it off.

I started all my kids (age 16 ) with AU on my  CC account. When they started working and could pay on their own....They got their own CC and auto loans.

Kids learn almost everything from parents. I also never lied to them about money!!! If they don't know that money is tight & how you handle it, they do not learn!

[haulingthescoreup]

I didn't learn much of anything (which shows, lol.) I had to figure it out the hard way. I didn't even know how to note bills as paid, write down the check number and all that until I got a job running a small office. Learned nothing about personal finance, retirement etc until I read some books, learned little or nothing about personal credit until finding this site. My parents never discussed money in front of me. I didn't even know how much my father made until I was an adult. My mother handled all the finances, BTW.

By contrast, I had my kids practice long division by balancing our checkbook. They went to an incredibly expensive private school on financial aid, so every year we had the discussion of whether they wanted the good education with old cars and no vacation, or the cowboys and jocks school and have money to throw around. I gave all three a copy of Young, Fabulous and Broke, and we talk about money a LOT.

[Dawn]

Oh ... how I wish it was always conditioned behavior.   For some kids it seems that they learn their lessons well.  For others ... they won't listen to a darn thing.  We have tried to teach our kids to be wise stewards of their financial resources and to evaluate the difference between genuine "needs" and those trouble-making "wants" before letting any of that "green" slip between their fingers and get away from them. 

We also are strong advocates of using credit cards for the convenience factor and never purchasing anything that we don't have the available funds to pay for.  I cringed the other day to hear my son say that he wanted to "establish" his credit by purchasing something like a laptop and paying it off over a period of several months.  (Of course, his "real" reason is that he sees "saving" enough for that laptop  as an unattainable goal.)  We continue to argue about "my way" (postpone the purchase until you have the money for it, PIF well before the due date) vs his belief that my way doesn't "work" to establish credit.   

I hope my lesson hits home before his need for instant gratification gets him in trouble with those shiney new cards.  He is one who tends to learn things the "hard way" in spite of our best efforts to set a good example.   

[Anonymous]

I grew up with a stepmom who spent, spent, spent, hid the bills, denied, denied, denied.  It was good training.  Swore I would not live the life my parents did.  I PIF my CC's every month.  Whenever I got salary increases, I saved the money (after all, I had been living without it).  I bought my first house in 1979 w/$3000 down.  I continued saving money from salary increases, but put it towards the principal on my mortgage. Paid off my current mortgage in just under 20 years.  What have my kids learned:

36 year old daughter has wrecked her credit time and time again.  She has a genius I.Q. and was offered multiple college scholarships.  She is poor and can't even get a checking account.  She works a minimum wage job and financially life looks pretty bleak for her and her family.  Brains do not equate to common sense or ability to handle finances. 

Youngest daughter 18 and in high school has a CU account w/$1000, a checking account w/$700, a savings account w/$1500 and another $450 in cash stashed in her bedroom, all saved from summer jobs and babysitting.  Since I am disabled, she gets social security benefits as my dependent.  I have saved all of her SS benefits and she has chosen not to have me buy her a car with the money because she wants the money saved for college expenses or to help buy her own home someday.  She swears that she will not end up living like her sister.

Message Edited by dwarfess on 01-14-2008 11:23 PM