How to avoid being drowned by spouse's debt?

[Anonymous]

My husband and I have been amicably separated since 2004. We live in different states. We remain married because he is self-employed and cannot afford health insurance. I provide this to him through my company. He is deeply in debt and getting deeper. How can I remove myself from his debt - which he willingly acknowledges is not MY debt - without having to divorce him, causing him to go even deeper into debt and at risk of not being able to work should he become ill and not be able to get medical care? THANKS.

[sl]

One way is to close ALL joint accounts. If he cannot handle money, you take control of the closed cards and have him send you money for the bills..thank way you know they are being paid.

[Anonymous]

What state are you in, and what state is he in?

Before you separated, what state were you two together in, and were you married in that state?

[Anonymous]

First, thank you so much for responding to me.

We lived and were married in NJ. He still lives there, while I moved to Georgia in 2004. We have not lived together since that time.

[Anonymous]

Why does it matter what state they were married in?  Domicile is the question.

[Anonymous]

My reason for asking about states of residence was to see if there was a community property issue.

The community property states are: Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington, and Wisconsin.

In a community property state, even individual accounts that go bad can be reported on the other spouse's CRs.

Neither New Jersey nor Georgia are community property states, so no worries on that front.

If you and your husband are on good terms, then I would try to work with him and encourage him to help himself, and thereby help you.

Any joint accounts that go bad could hurt you both. What debts do you have that are in both of your names? Cars, homes, CCs, other loans, etc.

If you're merely an AU on any of his CCs, ask him to cancel those AU CCs and go ahead shred the CCs. I'm presuming you already have "enough" established CCs in your name.

If he's an AU on one of your CCs, then you probably wanna cancel those as well.

I would go ahead and ask him first. That isn't to imply a wife needs to her husband's permission to do something [unless it's my wife who has to do what I say, so long as she agrees]. It's just one of those things that by asking first, it eliminates the possibility of hurt feelings and retribution afterwards. "What do you mean canceling that card? You don't trust me?"

Debt and credit are deeply personal things when it's personal debt and credit.

Message Edited by Noah_Bodie on 08-07-2007 01:57 PM

[Anonymous]

Domicile = residency.

The state where they were wed is irrelevant (provided it was legal under the laws of that jurisdiction).

[Anonymous]

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masdeocho wrote:

Domicile = residency.

The state where they were wed is irrelevant (provided it was legal under the laws of that jurisdiction).

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True, but I like to consider worst case scenarios. In the OPs case, there's no community property state, so no problem there.

However, hypothetically, let's say they were married in a community property state, a short time later incurred some new credit lines "within the marital community", resided there for 6 years, and then 6 months ago separated and moved to other states.

I've read legal speculation that an SOL from the state where the debt was incurred could be used and applied in another state where a debtor currently lives. If so, then it's conceivable a creditor could argue that a debt incurred in a community property state means both spouses are responsible.

But again, this is all hypothethical musings because the OP isn't in and hasn't been in a community property state.