It finally hit the fan...

[Anonymous]

Well...We went to the therapist.

I wasn't beat up - and DH accepted some of the blame for not being involved in our finances. When we left, he told me that he loves me and wants grow old and grey with me. Which he should becuase I'm otherwise pretty kick-@ss!

[Anonymous]

Tex,

You and your husband are in my prayers. I know everything is going to work out well for you. The support your husband is showing is great. It seems you have a great there. Take care and God Bless.

Cecilia

[Anonymous]

Tex,

I still haven't told my DH about the bounced check thing.  I feel ya all the way on this one.  Unfortunately, I am not certain mine would be as nice about it. I deal with all the finances.  He just expects money when he needs it...doesn't matter where it comes from.  I have learned how to rob Peter to pay Paul quite effectively.  Then, when I let him know he has to watch his spending...he wants to know where all the money is.  Uh duh...could be that new drill, dinner out and the 12 pack you bought todrink with your buddies.  I am working so hard at all of this, I am on pins and needles thinking all of my hard work could collapse at any moment.  Unfortunately, most of us are one check away from poverty...I am anyway.  LOL.

Good luck Tex, I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. 

[Anonymous]

Tex, we all have  to go through some type of hell to learn a lesson, otherwise they are not lessons learned!!! (does that make since??) Anyway, I know you have got to feel some type of relief now that you are not living with some deep dark secrets!! When I was of school age, my dad use to drop me off at school. Before I would get out of the car, I would lean over and give him a kiss and he would say "Always remember that life is about the decisions you make" . For a long time, I was like, whatever dude, but know that I am an independent adult, I can totally understand what he was trying to teach me. And to be honest, when I'm on the verge of making a bad decision (ie: applying for credit cards that I really don't need) then his little saying comes to mind....and I reevaluate the situation!!

You are a good person, I can tell. Please don't beat yourself up over this. Keep your chin up and know that all of your fico friends are cheering you on and keeping you in our thoughts and prayers!! This too will pass, and hopefully you and your hubby will be closer than ever!!!

[sl]

Tex, look at this situation as "new beginnings." My situation actually strengten our relationship after all the dust settled. It took awhile and now DH actually listens to me about credit decisions and money. I got him into checking his credit report and listening to Suze Oreman with me on Saturday nights.

I have fought for years with my credit and felt less than whole with all my credit problems and I am lucky I never got sued (close but took care of it).

If I could pass this one thing on to my FICO friends and it is something I learned from Suze and that is "emotion is attachhed to money." Once I heard that and analyzed my spending it helped change me around. I was spending to make myself feel better instead of looking at the real reason - my low self confidence.

Dakota, you will be okay also. It is hard to fess up....I thought hubby would walk on the spot, we did get separated over it but that was my doing not his. I thought it would be easier to walk away from the situation than face it. Seems until recently that was the pattern in my life. And what is stranger is I am an accountant. I can handle anyone books and tell them how to move their money and do their financials with my eyes closed but for me, it has always been an uphill battle with personal finances.

Good luck to both.

[Anonymous]

---

sl wrote:
Tex, look at this situation as "new beginnings." My situation actually strengten our relationship after all the dust settled. It took awhile and now DH actually listens to me about credit decisions and money. I got him into checking his credit report and listening to Suze Oreman with me on Saturday nights.

I have fought for years with my credit and felt less than whole with all my credit problems and I am lucky I never got sued (close but took care of it).

If I could pass this one thing on to my FICO friends and it is something I learned from Suze and that is "emotion is attachhed to money." Once I heard that and analyzed my spending it helped change me around. I was spending to make myself feel better instead of looking at the real reason - my low self confidence.

Dakota, you will be okay also. It is hard to fess up....I thought hubby would walk on the spot, we did get separated over it but that was my doing not his. I thought it would be easier to walk away from the situation than face it. Seems until recently that was the pattern in my life. And what is stranger is I am an accountant. I can handle anyone books and tell them how to move their money and do their financials with my eyes closed but for me, it has always been an uphill battle with personal finances.

Good luck to both.

---

Ha Ha.  Funny you should say that.  Though I am not a CPA, I am an Accounting Assistant.  I have also just agreed to be the Treasurer for an organization I am involved in.  My Dad thought that was the funniest thing he ever heard considering the fact that I can't ever seem to balance my checkbook.  Of course, this comes from a man who will search for hours for a penny...AND FIND IT!!

[Anonymous]

Thank God, TM~~~   I knew it would work out, too much prayer on it.  Dakota, please learn from all of us on this board who have dared to put their stories out for millions of cyberpeople to see and read, tell him.  Unless you think that your life would be in danger by telling him, do what you need to do so you can have peace. If you can tell your dad, surely you can tell hubby, right?  We all make mistakes, but we learn from them and we move forward.  Don't let this cause you to get sick, or stressed out over it.  Not worth it...  You are not your checking account, because before it was, you were.  If he loves you, he will be a bit upset at first, but if you are worth having to him, he will get over it and maybe even get more involved with the finances like TM's husband is about to do.

Praying for you too.

Eve

[Anonymous]

Things will only get better from here.  The truth is out.  It's no longer a burden on you from keeping the secret.  You can work together from now on to get your finances where you want them. 

[Anonymous]

"Tex, we all have to go through some type of hell to learn a lesson, otherwise they are not lessons learned!!! (does that make since??)"

My Boss used to say this to me all the time whenever I would do a good job on a project--he'd say "Nothing went wrong here so you didn't learn anything!" Weird, but he was right. It's only now that I've done stupid things that I'm learning how not to be stupid. I guess we all get it right at some point or another in our lives, and hopefully once we learn, we don't make the same mistakes again. That's my hope at least

Message Edited by rifleman on 09-07-2007 08:14 AM

[Anonymous]

I should have listened to you all the FIRST time you told me to spill it!