Marriage and Debt!

[Anonymous]

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MikeM wrote:

You made some very valid points ivyalmighty. It'll definitely be a learning experience for the both of us. And you're right, she does need to contribute to paying the debt off.

Like I said in the previous post, we're wanting kids soon, and I'd hate to raise kids while trying to pay off excessive debt. I just don't know how quickly it can get paid off. Even a couple of years seems too long to wait before having kids, but we might not have a choice.

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It certainly would not be worth a BK haunting her for years over 5k in cc debt. The student loans can't be included.

I do agree with Ivy. Even a part time job would make a world of difference. Unless she has some health issues, most women can work while pregnant. My ex made great money, but I chose to keep working until my 8th month to have extra stuff to spoil my baby with. Plus it was good to get out of the house.

[Anonymous]

Just don't think you are the only people who have that much student loan debt. I have lots of friends with near 100k. It sucks when you haven't gotten any debt and she has that much, but it's not totally out of the realm of a lot of people's reality.

Pay off the CC first, it's more important to get rid of than the student loans and they can't be discharged in BK like someone said. Student loans are great about deferring, making payment plans etc. Do that and add what you can to pay it down.

[Anonymous]

The friendly advice is why I'm here.

You're absolutely right too. Once the deal is done there's no turning back for either of us. And future problems will be faced by the both of us looking forward. We both know each other very well. She knows my quirks and I know hers. We're just a little skewed financially (kind of obvious by now).

We both want kids. She doesn't see a problem with having kids and paying off the debt at the same time. She understands the debt will be paid off slowly this way too, but she figures "it'll get paid eventually." She's the minimum payment type of girl. I PIF monthly.

I want kids, but I don't want to have kids while trying to manage debt. But I don't want to wait 2-3 years until the debt is paid.

She's a great girl. Great people do stupid things, but even the best people have their faults. Hers unfortunately happens to be in finances.

This post makes me sound really spoiled. Basically, we can't have our cake and eat it too.

[Anonymous]

Mike- Sounds like you have a level head on your shoulders.  You guys will be fine. 

From one recently newly wed to an up and coming, Welcome to a new life!

A better life.

[MidnightVoice]

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MikeM wrote:

She doesn't see a problem with having kids and paying off the debt at the same time.

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So work out the annual cost of two kids.  Double it.  Double it again.  Then you will have some idea what the first 6 months of the first kid will cost. 

And it gets more expensive every year.

Until they go to college.  Then all the previuos costs seem miniscule.

Then they graduate.  Then the manure really hits the oscillating unit.

[Anonymous]

lol, nice. Should be fun.

[demi]

Just my two cents worth...

You two seem to have very different opinions on money/debt issues.  I would seriously try to find a common ground before you tie the knot.  Finances can have huge impacts on couples.  To me, finding the common ground that out is way more important than how its paid.  If you both agree, then you have a common goal, and it will be easier. 

Trying not to sound preachy, especially since I am single and plan on staying that way.  But, I have had way too many friends, especially in the first few years of marriage, having huge problems over money.  One friend cancelled her wedding a week before the ceremony because he found out she had over 60,000 dollars in debt, and she didn't find out from him.  Its great that you are figuring this out now instead of later.

[Anonymous]

BTW, MNV is being very conservative.  I would have ample reserves if I was to use that equation. 

[Anonymous]

Thanks for all the advice guys. Unfortunately I need to get back to work (so I can't monitor this thread) but I'm going to tell her BK is a bad option for us, and we'll not even keep it on the table. I'll check back a little later in case someone else had some advice they wanted to give.

Thanks again,

Mike

[Anonymous]

Work?!?!?! Isn't it Friday?