Some thoughts on this forum, and its purpose.

[courtney091082]

I personally must say I love this forum, and anything I can do to help others is a great thing.  To those that have given me advice, no matter how much I like it or don't like it Thank You.  I like many others was in college, couldn't afford what I racked up on cc and med bills.  Yes, my fault, but I am here to make things right, and go about it the best route possible...mostly for me, but also for the OC...I could care less about the CA, but I am one effected by $300 turning into $3000! Come on that isn't fair, that is worse the interest on tax debt.  Without this forum, I and many others would have no clue #1 where to start, #2 what such things like PFD and DV are, and #3 I would be waiting a really long time to buy my first home.  I have nothing bad on my credit for the past 24 mos...now I can pay my CO but who would say "Yes I want to wait 4 yrs for it to drop off my CR, not me."

Nothing personal to anyone just speaking my peace

[Junejer]

I am with you Courtney. Quite frankly, this board is for each person something different. It is not up to me to change anyone's attitude about ANYTHING. I can lead them to the water, but I can't force them to drink, furthermore, it's not my job to force them to drink. I am not the judge of why someone comes to this forum. What's it to me if someone wants to fix their credit to get more credit? I am not their HS. Each individual has to look themselves in the eye each night while brushing their teeth to determine whether or not they did the right thing that day.

I say that if you created the debt, then make it right, but make sure that it's a win-win situation (creditor gets paid back and you get made whole on your CR).

CAs have been hammering the uninformed for years with predatory actions like what's happened to Courtney. IMO, most of them are doing something illegal anyway. It's about time that there is a forum like this to arm consumers with enough ammunition to level the battlefield some.

[Anonymous]

I took this forum for what I thought it was intended to do.  Help someone with the information they needed to repair credit, suggestions on what to do ifs, and general credit questions, etc.  I was not under the assumption that how or why you got into the situation should be an issue, regardless of whether they accept their mistakes, percieved or otherwise.  Not all credit issues come from mistakes but, rather from events out of your control. As far as I am concerned, whether someone accepts responsiblity, acknowledges acceptance or believes they are responsible is irrelevant, and not any ones place on this forum to point it out.  As long as what information is asked for is within the legal limits of the law, what they do with that information is up to them. Hopefully, along the way, they will also learn.

[Anonymous]

The only debts that I owe are ongoing...auto and CC debt.

 I do believe that every person that comes in to these threads should know what their legal rights are under SOL. Unless they know that they might find thenself in deeper trouble then they were. After that it is up to them what they do.

IMO almost all CAs are barfbags....they do not care about anyones rights or what they are doing is legal or moral.

[Anonymous]

TBR:

It has been my observation that most folks here are willing to call someone to the carpet if it seems that someone is basically asking "How can I get away with improving my credit without actually paying what and whom I owe?"

We have all read posts and thought - Just pay the stupid bill and get on with it.

But- and I believe this to be the key to this forum's effectiveness - we are all working towards a common goal. Fiscal good health.

Sometimes credit issues arise after dealing with things like divorce, illness, loss of a business or a person who has unwittingly left the financial dealings to an incompetant spouse.

Sometimes we get too many credit cards in college without any real understanding of the responsibilty or ramifications. And I think that often times, we may be dealing with an unfullfilling career / marriage / personal situation, and just buy stuff to make ourselves feel better. But whatever the reason, I think it's never too little or too late to get on track.

As for perceiving attitude in posts, some people just aren't skilled at writing and may not effectively communicate what information they are trying to get. I think getting an informed reply - or a reply asking for further details and so forth, are by far more helpful than getting scolded for "not being responsible." I save that speech for my kids - and myself.

While we all agree that we have made (and some of still making!) mistakes, I think we can also agree that gentle civilty, support, atta-boy!/girl!, and good information are the heart and soul of this forum.

[Anonymous]

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@Anonymous wrote:

TBR:

It has been my observation that most folks here are willing to call someone to the carpet if it seems that someone is basically asking "How can I get away with improving my credit without actually paying what and whom I owe?"

We have all read posts and thought - Just pay the stupid bill and get on with it.

But- and I believe this to be the key to this forum's effectiveness - we are all working towards a common goal. Fiscal good health.

Sometimes credit issues arise after dealing with things like divorce, illness, loss of a business or a person who has unwittingly left the financial dealings to an incompetant spouse.

Sometimes we get too many credit cards in college without any real understanding of the responsibilty or ramifications. And I think that often times, we may be dealing with an unfullfilling career / marriage / personal situation, and just buy stuff to make ourselves feel better. But whatever the reason, I think it's never too little or too late to get on track.

As for perceiving attitude in posts, some people just aren't skilled at writing and may not effectively communicate what information they are trying to get. I think getting an informed reply - or a reply asking for further details and so forth, are by far more helpful than getting scolded for "not being responsible." I save that speech for my kids - and myself.

While we all agree that we have made (and some of still making!) mistakes, I think we can also agree that gentle civilty, support, atta-boy!/girl!, and good information are the heart and soul of this forum.

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First, your sig, "you are not your stuff" is great!


I'm not trying to scold anyone. Really. I want everyone to get the help they need. I find the support given in this forum as good as I any friend or family member. Thats the good part. Helping each other navigate what is in fact complicated. Personal finance. Thats what makes it a little more galling to see a thread displaying would consider this attitude I have encountered.

To restate, I know everyone makes mistakes. I could, and have, listed some of mine. I need the help of this forum, otherwise I would not read, or post to it, right? Its also important to reiterate, 99.9999% of the threads and reply show NO hint of this.

When I read something about some staggering debt load, I truly feel for that person. I know it was not their intention to get into this situation. While everyone is helping to clean-up, I would like to see people become aware of the whys and hows that put them here.

For anyone reading thinking I'm some Ayn Rand type jerk, let me tell you a embarrassing personal financial problem.

The FIRST thing that really set me down the wrong path was the IRS. They came after me saying I owed them 13k. By the time it was done, it was ~16k, but thats not really the embarrassing part. I had not filed some years, was careless with others, and I knew it was a mess. So, rather than deal head-on with the IRS, I got my CO to loan me the money, and just PAID THEM! I had the President of the company I work for telling me to "go to my accountant!" I had the CFO telling me to get with the IRS, and blah blah. Thats how it all sounded to me. BLAH BLAH. It took their harassing me for more to make me get off my a** and get a accountant. Couple months later, she had everything straight, and MOST OF THE MONEY COMING BACK. But thats not before I was behind to the credit cards, and generally messed-up. Just because I was too embarrassed to ask for the help.

So, my point. I learned from the experience. I will NEVER mess with the IRS again. Cause/effect.

TBR

[Anonymous]

The FIRST thing that really set me down the wrong path was the IRS. They came after me saying I owed them 13k. By the time it was done, it was ~16k, but thats not really the embarrassing part. I had not filed some years, was careless with others, and I knew it was a mess. So, rather than deal head-on with the IRS, I got my CO to loan me the money, and just PAID THEM! I had the President of the company I work for telling me to "go to my accountant!" I had the CFO telling me to get with the IRS, and blah blah. Thats how it all sounded to me. BLAH BLAH. It took their harassing me for more to make me get off my a** and get a accountant. Couple months later, she had everything straight, and MOST OF THE MONEY COMING BACK. But thats not before I was behind to the credit cards, and generally messed-up. Just because I was too embarrassed to ask for the help.

So, my point. I learned from the experience. I will NEVER mess with the IRS again. Cause/effect.

TBR

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That's why I'm 1000% pro fair tax!

[marty56]

The overall goal here is to learn from each other, try not to make the same mistakes as others and not to repeat ones we have made.

Yes there will always be a group of people who exploit the system and I try not to judge (and therefore be judged) but it bugs me sometimes too.

Anyway if anyone of us makes a difference in just one person's life here, then we get a 850 LifeScore.

Message Edited by marty56 on 03-03-2008 04:54 PM

[Junejer]

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@Anonymous wrote:

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First, your sig, "you are not your stuff" is great!


I'm not trying to scold anyone. Really. I want everyone to get the help they need. I find the support given in this forum as good as I any friend or family member. Thats the good part. Helping each other navigate what is in fact complicated. Personal finance. Thats what makes it a little more galling to see a thread displaying would consider this attitude I have encountered.

To restate, I know everyone makes mistakes. I could, and have, listed some of mine. I need the help of this forum, otherwise I would not read, or post to it, right? Its also important to reiterate, 99.9999% of the threads and reply show NO hint of this.

When I read something about some staggering debt load, I truly feel for that person. I know it was not their intention to get into this situation. While everyone is helping to clean-up, I would like to see people become aware of the whys and hows that put them here.

For anyone reading thinking I'm some Ayn Rand type jerk, let me tell you a embarrassing personal financial problem.

The FIRST thing that really set me down the wrong path was the IRS. They came after me saying I owed them 13k. By the time it was done, it was ~16k, but thats not really the embarrassing part. I had not filed some years, was careless with others, and I knew it was a mess. So, rather than deal head-on with the IRS, I got my CO to loan me the money, and just PAID THEM! I had the President of the company I work for telling me to "go to my accountant!" I had the CFO telling me to get with the IRS, and blah blah. Thats how it all sounded to me. BLAH BLAH. It took their harassing me for more to make me get off my a** and get a accountant. Couple months later, she had everything straight, and MOST OF THE MONEY COMING BACK. But thats not before I was behind to the credit cards, and generally messed-up. Just because I was too embarrassed to ask for the help.

So, my point. I learned from the experience. I will NEVER mess with the IRS again. Cause/effect.

TBR

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TBR, glad you did learn from your embarassing experience.  We hope that everyone would, but what if they didn't?  Sometimes, it takes others longer to learn from certain mistakes.  It really shouldn't matter to us whether or not someone learns from their mistakes.  Now, if I am noticing that "Smathers" is hitting this forum again in 2010 complaining about the same issues that is plaguing him in 2008, then it's my choice whether or not to respond to his post (b/c he didn't learn).  But I am not his judge, jury and executioner.  As I stated before, we are not anyone's Holy Spirit (HS) or conscience or whatever you want to call it.  We would like all to learn from their mistakes, but if they don't what's it to us?

[PayYouNever]

I look at it like this, the reporting is screwed up - sevens of bad luck (credit) if you're late or suffer from financial crisis that is beyond your repair. My credit situation was screwed up from right when left college, because my roommate during my senior year didn't pay the last three months on the year lease that we signed. So a judgment was entered in my name, because of my stupid roommate who refused to pay (his mom was a US attorney, so she knew what was going to happen). I received the summons and tried to explain to the judge, but to no avail.

So I had to deal with 7 years of crap credit for something that wasn't my fault, taught me to never have roommates again -- and I haven't outside of my two brother at various time and they never missed a payment.

But the whole issue of fighting the CRAs -- even when you might be responsible for the debt, and therefore trying to settle -- is applauded, because the penalty sooo does not fit the crime. Plus, almost every account that you have, you can justify trying to settle if you go into CO status, because you have paid too much in outrageous interest charges or so-called fees or regulatory taxes that you shouldn't have had to pay, that the Big Corporate company can suffer to lose even a few hundred dollars in bad debt; they're getting over on you any way and the CEOs ARE lining their pockets with your blood, sweat & tears.