How I traumatized my 9-year old

[Anonymous]

So, about 5 hours ago, the kids and I were putting together a bookshelf we bought today. Yup, you know the type...all particle board, all the time...covered in thin laminate, but hey, whaddayawant for 10 bucks, right?

Anyway, we had just finished when DS walks up the hall...and comes FLYING back down the hall,  11-year-old eyes big as saucers!  He's standing just outside my door and says "there's a SNAKE!"  Knowing that my lovely DS is prone to tell stories, exaggerate and has QUITE the imagination, I honestly didn't believe it.  It was late, and they were tired so I figured he was, basically, "trippin" or that what he had seen was the tail of a mouse who occasionally graces us with its presence.

So, I walk out to the kitchen, he says, "it went toward the cabinet" which is where 9-year-old DD had taken off and left her sandals a little while earlier when we got home.  I move the garbage can and something else (whatever it was sitting there) and tell DD to get her sandals.  She looks at me like "woman, are you on CRACK?" So I say, Baby, there's nothin' there, just grab your sandals in case something comes out. 

She reaches down, picks up her black sandals and I'll be da***ed if there wasn't a black snake IN MY KITCHEN under my poor baby's sandals!!!!!  So what DO you suppose she did???  Yeah, that's right, she threw her sandals down, hauled @$$ down the hall and commenced to an emotional breakdown. 

Good goin, MOM!  Okay, so I've got a 9 y.o. freaking out in the hallway and a SNAKE IN MY KITCHEN!  (Did I mention there was a snake in my kitchen???)  Hmm...what to do...which do I deal with first?  Yep, you guessed it..the snake wins because I want his little slitherin' black behind OUT of my house or there is NO WAY DD is going to sleep tonight (or any of us, for that matter). 

So, I look down and see the "hot pockets" box laying on top of the garbage can...he's now trying to slither his way under my stove...I use the edge of the box to scare him back the other direction ~ quite successfully, if I do say so myself (mind you, all the while being supervised by my children, my son giving me "directions" on how to catch a snake at a volume I'm SURE the neighbors heard).  I slide the box basically up against the baseboard and he slithers RIGHT IN ~ making it look oh-so-easy and making me look really good right about now (which is, of course, the LEAST he can do!)

I fold up the hot pockets box holding it at arm's length in one hand, go hug my baby with the other, telling her "seeeee...he's gone now!  Did you see that?  He's in the box!

WHY does this sh** always have to happen when DH is GONE???  Oh yeah...I know why...he woulda been racin' the kids down the hall waitin' for me to catch our "friend". 

So, that's how I traumatized my 9-year old in this, the last week of summer.    And yeah, I laughed...pretty much all the way through it, after she freaked out 'cause I'm kinda twisted like that!

[llecs]

I was showing our then 4 yo DD living things around the yard. As we were looking up close to a cricket, it jumped in her face. Two years later, she is still terrified about crickets. I find the best way to alleviate this fear it to expose her (our DD) to it, and with time I hope it'll go away. Spiders? No problem for her. Snakes? Her new best friend. Jiminy Cricket on Pinocchio? Horror flick.

[islandchild82]

You traumatized me, too! I couldn't imagine!

[Schoolbuskid]

Man oh man tell me about them darn snakes, we are currently living in a 11 year old mobile home, and as you may know these things are not built the best, we have plenty of little holes and cracks, and yes the mouse occasionally visits us. Well about 4 weeks ago while home by myself i was moving our big screen tv to get behind it, well when i did i saw something moving and had to take a closer look, oh yea it was definitely a black snake about a foot and half long, i froze and then i freaked, grabbed the broom and begin to beat it, i know i shouldnt have but did, he had to go and he definitely wasnt going alive, now everytime i move that TV i think about that day, it really is traumatizing!

Then about two weeks after that, my mom was cleaning her closet out and she picked up a bag and turned it upside down, mind you she was sitting on the floor, and dumped the bag beside her leg and out come this black and gray snake. SHE REALLY FREAKED! For about a week or so thats all she talked about was that snake. I researched it and found out that it was a Gray Ratsnake!

OP you were really brave to get close to that snake alive. They just make me quirmy all over!

[Anonymous]

Yikes!!! I'm not afraid of snakes, per se, but I do respect'em!! DH, OTOH is petrified of'em!!

My weakness is SPIDERS. My office is in a converted garage, and still has the basic concrete floor, is HUGE, and is often dark ... apparently, that makes it a haven for spiders.

One day, shortly after we moved in and I was unpacking a poopload of boxes around 10 at night, I stepped on something (in bare feet, no less) the size of a frickin' WALNUT. It had "give" to it, and immediately, the bottom of my foot where I touched it (at that point, I didn't know what I stepped on ... at the time, I assumed it was a doggie toy or something) started to BURN. Startled, I jumped back (oh, you better BELIEVE I jumped back!) and saw the ugliest, biggest spider, I'd ever seen.

Wasting NO time, since it was still twitching, I grabbed the closest shoe I could (a nice reliable, handy clog heel) and pounded the CRAP out of it. I mean, I'm sure if you'd have seen me, you'd thought I had just clubbed a mass murderer to death. I pounded that little b@stard so hard, I was sweating and out of breath.

And did NOT go in there again for about 2 weeks.

Spiders scare the ever-lovin' SH*T out of me. Any spider comes in MY house, it's a greasy smear 5 seconds later. YUCK!!!

[Anonymous]

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That made my day.

[Anonymous]

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jaybird201 wrote:
BAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That made my day.

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glad I could help you out

I'm still laughing about it, actually... and DD is fine with it, can actually laugh about it, too...now

[Anonymous]

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@Anonymous wrote:

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Aww. Maybe a good idea if your daughter will do it, is go to a pet store and let her handle a tame snake. Sounds crazy but she might have a snake fear at that age now. This could show her that they are not mean. But only if she is willing, don't force her to. Poor kid. At least no one got bit. They are pretty scary when they are zooming around. Explain to her that the snake was more afraid of her than she was of it. The snake was this little thing compared to her, imagine how the snake felt. Hope it all works out.

[Anonymous]

We used to play with black snakes as a kid. They are harmless. If you would've left it, you wouldn't have had the occasional mouse that visits.

[Anonymous]

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@Anonymous wrote:

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@Anonymous wrote:

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Aww. Maybe a good idea if your daughter will do it, is go to a pet store and let her handle a tame snake. Sounds crazy but she might have a snake fear at that age now. This could show her that they are not mean. But only if she is willing, don't force her to. Poor kid. At least no one got bit. They are pretty scary when they are zooming around. Explain to her that the snake was more afraid of her than she was of it. The snake was this little thing compared to her, imagine how the snake felt. Hope it all works out.

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Hubby's terrified of snakes (which is funny, considering what an avid camper he is!!). His fear came from almost getting bit by a cottonmouth when he was 7.

His mom, for all my kvetching about her here on the boards, was actually pretty cool. She grabbed a shovel and decapitated the thing before it could strike my DH. A cottonmouth bite back then, in the Keys (local hospital a two hour boat ride away) would have been lethal.