Credit Card Reprehensibility Number 2

[Anonymous]

My BF parents taught him everything he knows about credit and money and I am working as hard as I can to UN teach him!

I do believe that money basics should be something that is taught in HS but with out the beliefs of anyone individual.

Basic facts - because not all parents know enough to teach their children the basics - Here is an example.

My BF is 30 yrs old and didn't understand what writing a check meant. He could have 10's of thousands of dollars in the bank (which he often does) and then stand in fear at the check out counter writing a check for $30.

"But AmyBoo what if that check out lady puts that check in her pocket instead of the register and then steals all my money!"

He litterally keeps 10's of thousands of dollars in the bank... for what purpose I do not know... because he somehow has been made to believe that it is unsafe to take it back out. If I wrote him a check for $100 it would go in the bank, never to be seen again. If I hand him a $100 bill it goes in his wallet to be spent later.

He insists on using the same teller at the bank and will turn around and leave without making a transaction because she is the only one he trusts and he doesn't want anyone else to know how much money he has because he worries they will take it.

I never asked him why. I just decided "Hey at least I know we have plenty of money in the bank and I don't have to worry about him blowing it"

Then I found out where the fear came from... one night at dinner I offered to pay the tab. I handed the waitress my debit card, which is also a MC and his mother snatched it out of the waitresses hand and shoved it into her purse! She then handed the lady a wad of cash and shooed her away.

Then in all seriousness.... looking crazy as if aliens had just landed at the table next to ours she said... "AmyBoo... don't ever give a waitress your debit card she will clean out your bank account"

Ahhh Haaaaa.. mystery solved!

[wmarat]

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@Anonymous wrote:

My BF parents taught him everything he knows about credit and money and I am working as hard as I can to UN teach him!

His parents taught him what they believed is right and good for him at certain point of time. It is very high possibility that what I teach my kids today is going to be wrong in 10 years.

I do believe that money basics should be something that is taught in HS but with out the beliefs of anyone individual.

What basics?

Basic facts - because not all parents know enough to teach their children the basics - Here is an example.

My BF is 30 yrs old and didn't understand what writing a check meant. He could have 10's of thousands of dollars in the bank (which he often does) and then stand in fear at the check out counter writing a check for $30.

"But AmyBoo what if that check out lady puts that check in her pocket instead of the register and then steals all my money!"

I hate write checks too.

He litterally keeps 10's of thousands of dollars in the bank... for what purpose I do not know... because he somehow has been made to believe that it is unsafe to take it back out. If I wrote him a check for $100 it would go in the bank, never to be seen again. If I hand him a $100 bill it goes in his wallet to be spent later.

He insists on using the same teller at the bank and will turn around and leave without making a transaction because she is the only one he trusts and he doesn't want anyone else to know how much money he has because he worries they will take it.

I never asked him why. I just decided "Hey at least I know we have plenty of money in the bank and I don't have to worry about him blowing it"

I always use the same teller.

Then I found out where the fear came from... one night at dinner I offered to pay the tab. I handed the waitress my debit card, which is also a MC and his mother snatched it out of the waitresses hand and shoved it into her purse! She then handed the lady a wad of cash and shooed her away.

Then in all seriousness.... looking crazy as if aliens had just landed at the table next to ours she said... "AmyBoo... don't ever give a waitress your debit card she will clean out your bank account"

Well, I do not use debit card, only credit.

Ahhh Haaaaa.. mystery solved!

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[Lucid08]

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@jmbfl wrote:

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@Lucid08 wrote:

Reducing the number of people who develope credit problems, due to a lack of proper knowledge, would go a long way in preventing BK's the "first time", and would benefit not just the economy, but those of us who choose to manage our credit and finances responsibly. I fully support the essence of the OP's thought process in this, as irresponsible credit usage affects everyone across the board.

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EQUIFAX - 8/15/2008 - 643
TRANSUNION - 5/31/2008 - 620
EXPERIAN - 6/05/2008 - 609

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Just out of curiosity, which of the four categories do you fit into?

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I dont think I fit into any "single" one of them. Until the past year or so I've never had a need for credit, as my parents have always managed to take care of certain needs. They just recently retired, and I found myself in a position of not having any credit. I thought it was wise at my age of making sure I did this right the first time around, so I went to work researching everything that I could as it related to my goals and where I wanted to be within a preplanned period of time.

My parents taught me to be responsible with money, and to not live outside my means. This is a basic tenant however, and if I had to rely on the fundamental understanding of credit that I was taught by them, I would be hard pressed to get it right "the first time", as things have changed drastically since they obtained their first line of credit back in the 60's. Just paying your bills on time is no longer just a simple exercize, as things such as statement dates, billing cycles, fees, interest rates, cash advances, utilization as it affects your FICO score..ect...ect, are all things that must be researched and understood -prior- to jumping into the murky waters of credit management.

Then, I have to take into account those things that are outside of my control. Such as another company buying out the CCC that I'm currently with, and a short while later jacking up my interest rates due to some "internal risk assesment" that defies logic. I understand and empathize with the OP in regards to this, and I would be just as livid if this were to have happened to me, especially after having a card since 1999, as in the OP's case.

I'm not here to judge, or preach on how someone should manage their credit or finances on a personal basis, but I do feel that education is the critical component in being able to "properly" manage ones credit. Whether that education comes from home, school, or a combination of both, it is still up to the individual to make sure they understand how credit works on a level that applies to their specific situation.

I will say this however; I dont think these forums are a place to "vent" about anything, as feedback to such posts will be given in very general terms since there is no real "question" to be answered. I learned one thing about forums a long time ago, if you ask someone for their opinion, you had better bet that someone is willing to give it to you. If you ask a question however, it's much easier to self moderate the feedback and glean from it the valuable knowledge that most of us who come here, seek.

-Apologies for the wall of text.

[Anonymous]

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@wmarat wrote:

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@Lucid08 wrote:

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@fused wrote:

What "other" ways do you suggest?

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I'd like to see a national referendum that would require high schools to implement some sort of "financial responsibility" course that students are required to complete prior to graduation. I've been in the military and have been stationed all over the country, and it is saddening to see how many kids graduate without the ability to even balance a check book, let alone manage something like a credit card. Our schools operate under the public trust concept, and we owe it to ourselves to make sure that our kids are getting properly educated about matters of personal finance and the proper use of credit.

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I am confused, who supposed to teach kids, school or paprents?

IMHO, while it is nice, if school provides some credit related courses, the main responsibility for teaching kids belongs to parents.

If I do not teach my kids how to handle credit and money, nobody will.

Besides school may adopt wrong (IMO) approaches to credit like DR's or OP's approach.

My opinion only, no offence meant.

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Parents may also adopt the wrong approach, though, of course! And they may adopt a "do as I say, not as I do" style of teaching. I wish I'd had at least some kind of basic financial education at school - I don't think schools should be teaching/preaching about what you should and should not do, necessarily (as they're in no position to tell kids that they should use credit in X fashion but not Z fashion, or that they shouldn't use it at all, that they should use it as a very short-term interest-free loan, or that it's ok so long as you're earning rewards, or blah blah blah - opinions on these things are subjective, after all!), but I do think the concept of compound interest should be drummed into kids. They did actually teach us about it, in maths - but only as an exercise in figuring out percentages, rather than as something that you really, really WILL benefit from knowing about in later life. I think there should at least be (if there aren't already - I did go to school in a different country, after all!) a few lessons getting kids to figure out how long it would take to pay off X amount at Y% APR while making only the minimum payment, and what the total amount paid compared to the original amount borrowed would be... even if they don't pay much attention at the time, at least it might just stop them doing what so many people do and viewing their first credit/store card approval as "FREE MONEY!!!!!!"...

[Not_the_Point]

I also do not see a sermony tone in posts here, but perhaps it's all a matter of perception. 

I've learned many a valuable lesson from a wide range of people in all aspects of life. Some of these lessons were delivered in gentle, sagely tone, while others were delivered in a preachy, forcefull tone. It's important to recognize the merit of information regardless of the way it is presented.

Having said that, this forum is overwhelmingly full of usefull and practical information and I'm gratefull for every response I've gotten in response to a range of questions!