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Why approval feels so good?

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Why approval feels so good?

After reading a few different threads this morning, just for fun and out of curiosity, I decided to go into my wallet and go through the Apple Card process to find out if I would be approved and what my sl and apr would be.


I have no intention of going through with the full app for the Apple Card. I already applied (and was approved) for two new cards this month: the Chase United Club Card and the Amex Everyday Card. I hadn't applied for a new card in over a year, but I did get a new mortgage last summer. Originally, I only meant to go for the United Card but after approval, decided to go for the ED as well just to establish a relationship with Amex as I've never had an Amex card before. I should add that I intended to be at AZEO but ended up AZ at the time of application which took a hit on my scores. I went ahead anyway.

United sl is 28,900 (which I changed to 25k after moving some of it to other chase cards) and the ED sl is 25k. 


Then to Apple this morning. This is the message I received with my sl and apr:



I'm declining the Apple Card offer for now, for a lot of different reasons. But the thrill and rush of receiving the offer is very real. I can almost sense the shot of endorphins when I get approvals like this. Literally makes me feel a little high, which is hilarious to me. It's not about bragging rights or flexing. There's still some part of me that doesn't believe it, so there's a little befuddlement and amusement there. It would have been unimaginable for me a few years ago. Now, getting approvals and high starting limits is becoming commonplace for me to the point that I think I might be mad if I didn't receive one. Yet, I still get that rush that makes me want to giggle a little uncontrollably. 


My fianće thinks I'm hilarious too and gave me an eye roll when I showed him my new starting limits and then the Apple approval this morning. He is 9 years my senior, has excellent credit, scores in the 800's, but he has only one active cc that he opened two decades ago. His AoOA and AAoA are great, but he's in a terrible position if he wanted to open new accounts and is rightly afraid to do so, (the house and mortgage are in my name). When I started my credit journey and found these forums a few years back, I only had one credit card with a 4K limit. I knew then that I didn't want to be in his situation and really wanted to learn how to strategically position myself to have a strong profile as I grew older. And thanks in part to all the wonderful advice I received here, that's exactly what I've done.


But there is something else I realized this morning, and here I'm gonna veer into a slightly more personal reflection. My mom passed away almost three years ago from ovarian cancer. That's really where my credit journey started. I had to handle and close her estate which took me over two years. Among the many, many things I had to do during this time, was reporting her death to all the credit card companies and all the CRAs and closing all of her 30+ accounts. I remember going over her very thick credit report with my attorney. I learned all sorts of things about her that I hadn't known before, discovered all sorts of questions I wished I could've asked her, and just generally really developed an even stronger appreciation for all the work she did and the good choices she made in her life. We should have talked more about money, personal finance, investing, credit, business, etc. She was one smart cookie.


Even though I had a credit card at the time of her death, I almost never used it. I preferred my debit card for daily transactions; that was something my mom used to (rightfully) nag me about. At the time, I didn't really have a comphrensive understanding of how credit worked or the benefits of credit cards over debit cards or the advantage of developing good payment history.


When I was very young, I had been burned by Wells when I was a student. I had a free student checking account with them, but every couple of months they would mysteriously charge me various fees. I would go into the branch and they would reimburse me, saying it was a mistake, and then a couple months later, more mysterious fees. Over and over again, until I finally closed my Wells checking account and credit card and moved to another bank. The way I was treated and my general experience in dealing with that headache left a bad taste in my mouth, and the financial crisis also left me (along with most of my millennial peers) with a distrust and suspicion of banks and large financial institutions as a young twenty-something.


So, I used my debit card, never opened new accounts, foolishly closed old ones, and generally resisted when my mom tried to encourage me to open new accounts and establish relationships with more banks. 

It got me thinking a bit about how much we absorb as children and young adults about credit/finance/money habits from our parents and family in addition to our own experiences. Our expectations of ourselves and our relationship with money is so deeply rooted in these early years. I have so many memories that I've sifted through since my mom's passing. She really enjoyed having airline status and points, managed so many commercial loans and business decisions, and generally had such a good attitude about credit and personal finance, but she also had fun with it and enjoyed her successes. I remember that. Much of her advice is echoed here on the boards. I wish I could show her my recent approvals and starting limits and say 'hey, I was listening and you were right about so many things and look at me now'. Of course credit is only a very small slice of the pie when it comes to overall financial wellness. But in the last few years I've closed an estate, learned to manage a business, bought a house, and supported my family through major medical issues and expenses. There's always more to learn and my mom had so many more years of experience, but I'd like to think she'd be proud.


I like to imagine her smiling, even laughing with me, when I get these approvals. Seriously.


This morning, I realized that for me, that thrill and rush I have when I receive great approvals and sl's is somehow linked to her. It's really her approval I want. It's kind of embarrassing, but that's true. It's like I want a pat on the back for successfully 'adulting'. I guess I just miss her and I regret having been such a kid when she was still here. She just doesn't really get to see me as an adult, can't weigh in on big life decisions, can't celebrate my successes or vailidate my choices. But as silly as it is, I'm pretty sure she'd have been excited for my approvals and that makes me even more excited when I get them. 

Sorry, that was more of a rant than I meant it to be.



Legendary Contributor

Re: Why approval feels so good?

Wow, what a story. Thanks for sharing and am sorry to hear about the loss of your Mom. 


Congrates on reaching the highest pinacle of credit. Most of us can only dream of getting approvals  and limits like those you are getting.  Amazing self control on the Apple  app. Not many could resist that. Ive found that each of us have to find happyness in whatever success we find in our credit journeys. Being at the lower spectrum of credit profiles i often can find solace in what ive achieved on my  level. Amazing stories are what really help build and maintain our wonderful community here at myFicoLand  and appreciate you taking time out of your busy life to share AJC

Message 2 of 15
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Re: Why approval feels so good?

Good stuff, SG. Thanks for sharing. 

Message 3 of 15
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Re: Why approval feels so good?

incredible story..thank you for sharing

Message 4 of 15
Super Contributor

Re: Why approval feels so good?

I enjoyed the read and can relate to what has made you stronger, a little more wiser and perhaps a little more satisfied & confident:

The death of a parent and handling their finances from Start to Finish.  It's an emotional Eye-Opener and Spiritual Awakening. 


When you go through something you know will eventually happen, but not fully wrapping your head around it until it does, you'll find that it is quite the Game Changer.  Amazingly, You'll find you not only want to dig in whole-heartedly and do the right thing in your Mother's name, as she would have wanted; but in paying homage to her and her values you'll cross every T and dot every I in like manner...and that's when you know you are your Mothers' Daughter.  Heart 

Her values will live on in you and you're indeed the wonderful Adult she grew you into. Congrats on your growth and successesSmiley Wink

My Take Home Pay Don't Take Me Home
Message 5 of 15
Not applicable

Re: Why approval feels so good?

Amazing story! Thanks for sharing! My condolences for the loss of your mom.

Message 6 of 15
Valued Contributor

Re: Why approval feels so good?

Congratulations on your offer, and thank you for sharing your story!

Starting score - May 2018

April 2021

AAoA - 1 year 6 months
Message 7 of 15
Valued Contributor

Re: Why approval feels so good?

Congratulations on the great offer.  Condolences for the loss of your mother.  


You should have taken the Apple Card-----you could have charged things right from your phone!  And pay in full every month.  

FICO 8: EQ 810; TU 816; EX 822 as of 7/5/2022
Message 8 of 15
Established Contributor

Re: Why approval feels so good?

I really enjoyed your story. So sorry for the loss of your mom. The main thing is it appears her lessons really did take hold and are bearing fruit whether you realized at the time or not. Best of luck in your future endeavors. 

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Valued Contributor

Re: Why approval feels so good?


Awesome post. Smiling wide for having read it. Thanks.

Living through Darwinism is so much worse than learning about about it in school.
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