Hello Honchos! I am sure I can speak for everyone when I say that we sympathize, and we think it must feel really unfair to be in this situation.
So please hear me clearly when I say that in that sense we are on your side, nobody is blaming you, etc.
That said, can you clarify whether you have paid this credit card bill? For example, are you arguing to Citibank that this is a bill you shouldn't have to pay (for all the various reasons you have given) and therefore the bill remains unpaid on your card?
If so, I encourage you to make sure you act in your own interest, which is to be really careful when you get in fights with a huge corporation over a bill (based on your perception of being on the Moral High Ground). Here is a recent story in which a guy began arguing with Citi over a $300 bill. He now owes lawyers and others over $100,000 and will likely go into further debt on this:
http://ficoforums.myfico.com/t5/Credit-in-the-News/Citibank-fight-over-300-costs-a-Consumer-100k/td-...
I am also slightly confused by your use of the word "harass" which you are using in connection with Citibank's actions towards you. I.e. that they are repeatedly harassing you over this. It seems like it's the other way around. They would prefer not to keep talking about it. You, by way of contrast, are the one who is repeatedly going to them and asking that they do something about it. If anybody is harassing it is you who are harassing Citibank (Webster describes this as "to annoy persistently.").
Don't get me wrong; you are probably morally right to be persistently annoying them! But it just struck me as a strange word to use in this context. For example, a common example is to say that collection agencies harass the people they are trying to collect debts from -- by repeatedly calling them when the debtor doesn't want to talk about it. Citi would like the discussion to be over; you are the one who wants it brought up again.
A useful habit in these situations is to distinguish in your mind the issues of being morally right (in the sense of fairness, companies ought not to ship stuff you didn't pay for, etc.) vs. coolly acting in your best interest (which involves calmly assessing what steps on your part are most likely to make you happy -- or least unhappy). Already you can see that you have suffered anger, disappointment, and lots of wasted time on the phone or sending internet messages. The question is how much the shipping fee is worth to you to do more of that. (Also to carefully assess other downsides: Citi could cancel your card, they might begin assessing fees if the amount is unpaid, etc.)
That said, a perfectly reasonable thing to do is (while remaining friendly and civil with Citi, thanking them for their time, etc.) to ask them if they can direct you to some documention of the association guidelines they are referencing).
Wishing you the very best of luck....
