When is too soon to ask a guy about his finances? Dating this guy for a few months and everything is going well. I'm a planner and stay try to stay on top of everything. I really like him and can see myself being with him for a while, so I want to know about his financial history. It's important to me. I want to know upfront what i'm dealing with before things get anymore serious. I don't want to put him off by asking. How should I approach it? When is too soon to ask? Help, please ;-)
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That makes a lot of sense. I appreciate your feedback. Thank you.
@pizzadude wrote:
I'd suggest that you could get a feel for his thoughts by opening up about how you handle bills, savings, debts, etc... Then he will probably talk about some of his feelings on those subjects and it could open the door for a deeper discussion down the road. If he doesn't say anything then you can try another subject later on.
Thank you for your suggestion. I like it. I don't want know all of the details, I just want to make sure he's financially reponsible. Things like that are easy to hide. I just don't want to get seriously involved only to find that he has no handle on his fianance. Especially if it was something we could have been working on together from the get go. I just might try that tonight :-)
@Sheisaking wrote:
@pizzadude wrote:
I'd suggest that you could get a feel for his thoughts by opening up about how you handle bills, savings, debts, etc... Then he will probably talk about some of his feelings on those subjects and it could open the door for a deeper discussion down the road. If he doesn't say anything then you can try another subject later on.
Thank you for your suggestion. I like it. I don't want know all of the details, I just want to make sure he's financially reponsible. Things like that are easy to hide. I just don't want to get seriously involved only to find that he has no handle on his fianance. Especially if it was something we could have been working on together from the get go. I just might try that tonight :-)
Right, you could easily broach the subject by talking about your cell phone bill, putting it on autopay, etc...
Also he might be wondering the same things, so perhaps he'll start quizzing you 
Thanks again 
@Anonymous wrote:Heard this topic being discussed on the radio a few weeks ago (when is it OK for a woman to ask a guy about their income/credit). VERY mixed, polarizing views on the subject by both men and women who called in, so definitely seems like something that needs to be navigated with caution.
Me? I'd welcome it even on the first date, even though I have extremely average credit right now. OK, not on the first date, but definitely a few months in, no problem. I think finances are very important in a relationship- not necessarily in terms of how much you make, but do you have a handle on yours? I think it's pretty smart and prudent to figure out whether someone is financially mature (or can be) before deciding whether to commit to them potentially for the rest of your lives. Don't they say that most marraiges fail at least in part due to arguments about money?
Also just wanted to add that although I focused on credit and responsible money management, asking about income would be OK too. I never understood why it's so taboo to bring up this kind of stuff earlier in relationships. How is it any more superficial to worry about your partner's finances than it is about their face, their height, their weight, the clothes they wear, etc? As long as you remain faithful to each other and are both genuinely happy, I just don't see the problem.
Interesting point of view. I personally feel the same way, but I know the topic can be touchy. What I was looking for is how the average man feels about it. You definitely helped with your response. Thank you.